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Late Bloomers

October 6, 2020 by pattiburris

 

 

Psalm 92:12-15

12 The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; 13 planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. 14 They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, 15 proclaiming, “The Lord is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.”

 

I had been waiting all Summer for our Morning Glory to bloom. About the middle of September, I decided that it wasn’t going to happen. I still occasionally took a peek to see if maybe, but I really wasn’t expecting it to happen at this point. AND THEN…IT DID!

It is what is called a late bloomer. I started thinking about how I could be considered a late bloomer. I am 50 and I have yet to live out my purpose/career/mission that many people discover in there 20’s. I have often been envious of those people. They just seemed like they had it all together and I have spent my younger years desperately searching for my “thing”. I am now working hard to start a single mom ministry, but I do still get frustrated because it seems like it is taking forever. My passion for this ministry began in 2006 when I was waist deep in the mud of my own single mom journey. It has taken 14 years to even get to this point. I have had to remind myself that…

ALL GOOD THINGS HAPPEN IN GOD’S TIMING!!!

Maybe…

I had to be pruned

The timing wasn’t right yet

Other people or situations weren’t ready yet

We never know why God holds certain people back. I realize now that it is sometimes less about me and more about circumstances/timing that I have nothing to do with. I have found that I am in good company:

Noah was 500 hundred years old when he started building the Ark

Abram was 75 when God him from his home land to the land of Canaan

Moses was 80 when he led the Israelites out of the promise land

I am waiting patiently for this ministry to take off. In the mean time I write, I create and I pray.

If you are a late bloomer, don’t give up! God has a plan, a purpose and a perfect time to use YOU for His glory! Keep believing, keep deepening your relationship with God and keep praying. The time is coming for you to bloom!

 

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What Would You Ask For?

September 29, 2020 by pattiburris

 

 

1 Kings 3:5-10

5 At Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.” 6 Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day. 7 “Now, Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. 8 Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. 9 So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?” 10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this.

 

When God asked Solomon to name one thing that he wanted, Solomon said that he wanted discernment (wisdom). He knew that in order to lead the Israelites, he would need discernment. God was pleased with Solomon’s request and gave him what he had asked for.

If we could ask God for one thing and be assured that we would be granted what we asked for, what would you ask for? Be careful! Think carefully! Once the request is granted, there are no take backs.

1 Kings 3:11-14

11 So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, 12 I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. 13 Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both wealth and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. 14 And if you walk in obedience to me and keep my decrees and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life.”

As a struggling single mom, it would be easy for me to ask for riches, a brand new car and a fancy house. I haven’t asked for those things. I do ask for guidance as I pursue my purpose. I ask for protection for myself and my kids. I ask for provision (our basic needs met). I ask for discernment. If I asked for riches, it would be to help other single moms. I would still live the same as I do now and I would use the rest to benefit other single mom families. There have definitely been times when I wanted the security of having a few more dollars in the bank. There have definitely been times when I have cried out in frustration for a brand new or near new car. As I have reflected on this question in my own life, I have to ask myself what would happen if I had the riches, the nice house and the brand new car. The answer? I would depend less on God. I would turn away from God in my comfort. Having a car that breaks down or needs tires replaced all the time keeps me dependent on God. Living in a house that is older and  simple keeps me focused on the simplicity of following Jesus. Having a ton of money would allow me to help other single moms and would allow me to live more comfortably, but there is a danger in being self sufficient. We start to rely on ourselves more and rely on God less. I tell myself that I wouldn’t turn from God, but I already know that I like to try to control things. I like to have MY own way. I am a people pleaser. I like to get the accolades of a job well done. In my praise seeking I would forget that it is God that deserves the glory. Not me. If it wasn’t for God I would have and would be, nothing. If I was really comfortable would my relationship with God be the same. No. It is my dependence on God that builds my faith and my prayer life.

CHALLENGE:

I challenge you to reflect on the question: If I could ask God for anything, what would I ask for? Remember to be careful what you ask for! Is what you asking for going to bring you closer to God or separate you from God? Is what you are asking for in God’s will? Anything that will cause a disconnect between us and God is NOT worth it! God will give you what you want. He answers prayers every day for His people. Make sure that what you are asking for will bring glory to the Father. That is our #1 priority in this life.

 

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2020 Featured Expert: The Life Of A Single Mom Ministries

September 25, 2020 by pattiburris

 

Article #4 is up!

This is my last article with The Life Of A Single Mom Ministries. It has been a blessing to be able to love millions of single moms for Jesus through their website. I am looking forward to where God will lead me next!

It has been a tough year for so many people, but it has been especially difficult for the single mom. This has been a year of job losses, financial hardships, child care issues, homeschooling, etc…Read the rest of the article here.

 

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Dear Single Mom: Setting Priorities

September 17, 2020 by pattiburris

 

Dear single mom,

I know how long your to-do list can get. I know how hard it can be to be torn between work, household chores, the kids school/after school activities and other obligations. There were times when I felt like someone had placed me on a hamster wheel and I would never get off. It’s hard to say NO when you are faced with activities/events that are important to you or your kids.

Reality check: 

You can’t do everything. Trying to will drive you crazy and keep you from enjoying quality time with your kiddos. It’s important for everyone to set priorities, but even more so for the single mom who is juggling more plates by herself. Some of the top priorities for me are listed below:

  1. God– He is #1 period! Nothing else matters if He is not at the center of our family and our daily lives. Everything I do revolves around my relationship with God. Every decision I make is made according to what will glorify God and be in God’s will. I prioritize prayer, Bible study, and church. I am not perfect. I mess up, but I am determined not to let my relationship with God fall by the wayside.
  2. Myself– This might sound selfish, but realistically if you are not healthy how can you take care of your kids? I try to find time for silence and solitude. I always loved taking bubble baths after the kids went to bed. I went to a community college and obtained my Associates degree in Human Services. I found time to get together with other adults. I tried to eat right, sleep right and exercise. I struggled emotionally, but tried not to let that affect the kids. I have to be honest, it did affect the kids. There were times when my emotional struggle was out of control. If we don’t take care of our own issues, we won’t be fully aware of our kids needs. If we don’t take care of ourselves first, our kids will suffer for it.
  3. Children– Typically, our kids are our #1 priority. I take care of myself, but even if I am sick, my kids still need to be taken care of. I had pneumonia for 6 weeks a few years ago. The doctor eventually told me that either I stayed home from work or I was going to be hospitalized. I agreed to stay home, because I had 5 kids to take care of. I did what I had to for the kids, trying to take care of me at the same time. Remember though, the only way to make it through all the activities, appointments, and kid issues is to take care of ourselves. I have found it easier to take care of the kids when I center my life on God and take care of myself.
  4. Home– I was completely overwhelmed with housework. I had 5 kids in a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. There were toys everywhere, laundry was piled up and it was lived in. There were times when it was a mess and I did the minimum of keeping the trash picked up, doing the laundry and doing the dishes. There were also other times when it was organized and orderly. I encourage you to find a way to make housework easier and involve the kids. It doesn’t have to be immaculate. Make housework a team sport and make it fun. Create new family traditions with your kids. Create a family night where you do crafts, watch movies, have a Bible study, etc. The main thing is to make the home a safe place for you and your kids to come to when life gets tough. Whatever you need to do to create that space for all of you, I encourage you to do it.
  5. Others– The above 4 should be your top priorities. After that you can decide where your attention needs to be.

 

Setting priorities is not always easy. There will be times when things overlap and you have to make the hard choice. There will be times when work has to come before a child’s activity. There will be times when a child’s illness will prevent you from going to work or a social event with friends. There will always be choices. The only priority I do not change though is keeping God #1. If God is not at the center everything else falls apart. What are your priorities? Do your normal activities fall into those categories? I encourage you to take a look at your activities and how they align with God’s word. I also encourage you to see where your life may be out of balance. A balanced life is a peace filled life.

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Are You Afraid Of Giants?

September 9, 2020 by pattiburris

 

 

Numbers 13:28-33

28 But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. 29 The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan.” 30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.” 31 But the men who had gone up with him said, “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” 32 And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. 33 We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.”

 

Are you afraid of giants? The Israelites were. They were so terrified of the giants that they almost forfeited the promise of a land flowing with milk and honey. The Israelites took their eyes off of the God who had performed numerous miracles on their behalf and started to focus on the giants in the land they were to conquer. They forgot one little piece of information, IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT! Their fear cost them 40 years!

Do you have a dream? A goal? An every day struggle that won’t go away? Are you facing a circumstance of giant proportions? Are you tired of fighting only to have that giant look down and laugh at you? Are you more like the Israelites cowering in fear, afraid to claim what God has promised to you?

If this describes you in any way, don’t worry! I know exactly how you feel! I have been afraid of giants and truth be told, if I came upon a giant standing in my way today, I would probably be very tempted to run. Except that, running doesn’t always work. Those giants have a way of catching us or keeping us from our promised land.

There were two who gave the opposite report of the other spies. They didn’t deny that the giants would be formidable opponents, BUT they knew that God had already given them the land AND that God would fight for them. Their FAITH was BIGGER than their FEAR!

Challenge:

Make a list of all of the giants that you are facing right now. Ask yourself, are you the Israelites and cowering in fear? Or are you Joshua and Caleb, believing in the promise of God? If you are cowering in fear, I encourage you to pray for courage. If we ask for what we need, God is good to answer those prayers. God is in the battle with you. You are NOT fighting alone! Channel that inner Joshua and Caleb and go get what God promised you!

We will fight many battles in this life, but we do not have to fight alone. The Israelites ended up facing the giants and claiming the promised land. God was with them and He is with you too!

 

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Dear Single Mom: Finding God In His Word

August 31, 2020 by pattiburris

 

 

Dear single mom,

Have you ever picked up the Bible, but put it back down feeling overwhelmed? I have! The Bible can be intimidating! You have this BOOK of 66 separate books that somehow fit together and point us to Jesus. The New Testament is easier to read than the Old Testament, but where do you start?

There are experts and non experts who swear up and down that EVERYONE MUST read through the Bible at least once. I actually did that one year. What did I retain or get out of it? Absolutely nothing. WAIT! WHAT??? Okay, I’m sure I got something out of it since it is the Bible and it is alive and all, but really, it was such a fast paced plan that I felt that it became something to check off of my to-do list rather than something I WANTED to do to learn more about my God. I got bored and bogged down somewhere around Numbers and almost gave up. I continued to muddle through, but my passion for the project was gone and I don’t remember much about what I read.

So, what do I suggest? 

Study one book at a time – With the Holy Spirit’s guidance, choose a book of the Bible to start with. As you read through it, answer the main questions: When, What, Why, Where, Who, and How. How does this book fit into the overall scheme of the Bible (God’s plan to bring restoration through Jesus)? Are there verses in this book that are commands that you can apply to your daily life? How is God speaking to you through this book? I like studying one book per month. Some books will take longer and there are those that are short enough that you can study 2, 3 or more in one month. Read 1 or 2 chapters a day or whatever is comfortable to you. This is NOT a race! Remember, the goal is to RETAIN what you study. The goal is to FEEL the Holy Spirit as He works through His Word. The goal is to GROW in your relationship with God as you read through His Word.

Journal – There are different methods of Bible journaling and you can look them up on the internet, but I find that I get the most out of my study when I answer the questions that I listed above. I also, like to pray scripture. I will write down the verse(s) in prayer form. Praying God’s Word back to Him can be powerful. When you read a scripture that speaks to your heart or a situation that you are dealing with, write it down and reflect on how God is using this verse to encourage you, guide you, or speaking to you in any other way and then pray that verse back to Him.

Listen – If we pay attention, God will speak through His Word. The Holy Spirit works through the Bible bringing it to life for those who believe. The Bible has the ability to transform lives like no other book ever written. If we listen, God will use the Bible to speak to us and give us the wisdom we need to muddle through this thing called life.

I encourage you to start reading the Bible today! Start in the Gospels where you can read about the life and ministry of Jesus from those who walked with Him. The 4 Gospels are written by 4 different men, to 4 different people groups, from 4 different perspectives. I am always here to walk beside you in your single mom journey. Contact me if you need encouragement, prayers, support, or anything else. Be blessed single mom!

 

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Who Is Your Foundation?

August 26, 2020 by pattiburris

 

1 Corinthians 3:10-15

10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

Matthew 7:24-27

24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

We all know that anything that is not built with a solid foundation will crumble and fall. The same goes for our Christian walk. Our foundation as Christians has to be built on the Rock (Jesus). How do we build a firm foundation as a Christian?

1 Corinthians 15:58

58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Matthew 7 tells us that those who HEAR what Jesus is saying to us AND PRACTICES what He says will have a solid foundation. We need to be ACTIVELY LISTENING to what Jesus is telling us. Not only do we need to listen, we need to PRACTICE what He says. We need to be OBEDIENT.

Corinthians 15:58 tells us that we need to STAND FIRM. It reiterates this by saying that we are to LET NOTHING MOVE US. We are to GIVE OURSELVES FULLY TO THE WORK OF THE LORD.

As Christians, there are some spiritual disciplines that we should be actively practicing in obedience to Jesus:

  1. Prayer – 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
  2. Bible Study – 8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Joshua 1:8
  3. Fellowship with Believers – 42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. Acts 2:42-44 

Of course, we can’t forget the commands that Jesus gives us in the verses I started with:

  1. Hear (Listen)
  2. Practice (Obedience)
  3. Stand Firm (Let nothing move you)
  4. Give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord

Challenge:

These are not the only spiritual disciplines of Jesus or that the Bible commands us to practice. I am challenging you to find the other spiritual practices of Jesus. I challenge you to find the other disciplines that the Bible tells us that we need to actively practice. Reflect in your journal and find ways to implement these disciplines into your daily life. Don’t think of it as something that needs to be checked off of a to-do list. the disciplines are not meant to be legalistic. They are meant to bring you closer to the heart of God. They are meant to help you build your foundation as a Christian.

Life as a Christian is not easy. It’s not meant to be. As with everything important, it takes a solid foundation to build a strong house, car, relationship or Christian life. Dig into the Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you as you seek His ways. A foundation built on anything other than Jesus will crumble and fall, so build your foundation on the ROCK (JESUS).

 

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Dear Single Mom: Enjoying Conversations With God

August 19, 2020 by pattiburris

 

Dear single mom,

I know that prayer can be intimidating, but think of it as a conversation with your best friend. God wants to hear about our lives. Yes, He does already know everything, but He wants US to share our lives with Him. He wants US to WANT to share our lives with Him.

Prayer is a conversation with God. God hears us when we pour our hearts from a place of desperation, pray for our kids, intercede on behalf of someone else or a situation. God is also a loving God who wants to bless us. He wants to give us good things, but we need to ask first. We need to pray in order for God to work in our lives and our situations. We need to pray according to His will, making sure that our motivations are in line with His word, 1 John 5:14-15 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. James 4:2-3 You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

It took some time for me to really get comfortable praying. It isn’t something that you can “learn” how to do by reading about it. You simply have to dive in and “Just Do It!”

Here are 3 ways of praying that have transformed my prayer life:

  1. Continual Conversation – As I go about my day, I focus on the presence of God. I can feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in everything that I do. I carry on a conversation as I go about my business. I thank God for the good, the blessings as I come across them (they can be little things, like a rainbow, harvesting vegetables from the garden, flowers blooming in our garden, or the simple kindness of a stranger). I cry out to God when I read about injustice or an accident that has happened. I pray for the victims of crimes as I read about them. I pour out my heart when someone hurts me or I am facing a situation that causes me heartache. I also, pour out my heart when I know that I have acted in a way that dishonors God. I start my prayer when I get out of bed and I end it at the end of the day, when I ask for protection during the night. When I carry on a continual conversation with God throughout my day, it reminds me that God is with me always. I can feel His presence in a very real way and it is AWESOME!
  2. Journal – I love to write, so journaling is a given for me. I don’t have a fancy journal or do any fancy artwork in it. I have a five subject spiral notebook (they have more pages) and I simply write as my heart desires. Some days, I write pages and pages or some days I write half a page. There may be 2 or 3 days when I don’t write. Because I am in continual conversation with God, I am still praying, but there are times when pouring out my heart in a journal helps me process better. It’s just the act of writing it out that seems to bring some peace. Sometimes getting it out of your head and on paper can make something that seems complicated seem pretty simple. Sometimes we get a different perspective when we get out of our heads by writing down our thoughts and prayers.
  3. Listen – As I go about my day focusing on the presence of God, I listen to what HE has to say to ME. I keep my heart open to the little ways that He may be leading me or the whispers of advice that He may be giving me. Conversation is not just about talking, it is about listening too. God will speak to us, but we need to be listening.

I used to be intimidated by people who prayed the big, eloquent prayers. I’m not any more. God is going to be more willing to answer the simple prayer of a single mom who sincerely prays, “Lord, help me” than the long, flowery prayer of someone who is just looking to build him/herself up. God is not looking for perfection. He is looking for a sincere, obedient heart.

I encourage you, single mom, to get a notebook and write out a prayer to God. Don’t think about what you are writing. Allow your heart to speak from the experiences of your life and you will be surprised at what flows out. It may feel awkward at first, but it will become more natural the more you focus on God. Open your heart and allow God to become real in your life and you will see the miracles that believing in Him can bring.

 

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Dear Single Mom: You Have A Heavenly Husband

August 14, 2020 by pattiburris

 

Dear single mom,

Isaiah 54:5-6

5 For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. 6 The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God.

When I first heard this verse, it opened my heart to a new perspective of God. I was at a single mom weekend in 2006, when the speaker, Lori Little, shared this verse. I had always known of God as my Father, but when I heard this verse, God met me in my pain and it changed my life. When I started to see God as my Husband, my perspective on earthly relationships changed. Earthly relationships are good, but they can not take the place of our relationship with God.

What is a husband’s role? 

Provider

Protector

Comforter

Listener

Companion

Guide

Wise Counsel

 

Did I leave anything out? These are ALL things that we can find in God.

Provider – God has provided for me and my kids for the 20 years that I have been a single mom. We have never gone without clothes, food, transportation, housing, etc. We have always had what we needed. There were times when I would start to notice that one or two of the kids were outgrowing their clothes and before I had time to address the need, I would come home to trash bags full of clothes for the child in need plus the others. We have never been without. In what way is God, your husband, providing for you and your kids?

Protector – God has protected us individually and as a family. I completely believe that He has His angels surrounding us during the day and as we sleep, because I pray protection over us. There have been situations that could have been so much worse without God’s intervention. I feel His presence on a daily basis. In what ways has God, your husband, protected you and your kids?

Comforter – Life as a single mom is littered with tears. There have been times when my only prayer was, “Don’t let me go.” In those times I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit like a cozy blanket that allows me to grieve and heal. God wraps me in His love and whispers His love to my heart in ways that allow me to believe that despite my circumstances, I am worthy and I am loved. In what ways has God, your husband, comforted you lately?

Listener – God listens as I pour out my heart. He listens as I pour out my prayer requests. He knows my heart and He cares. He listens and He answers in the rainbows, the songs of the birds, the sighting of a Cardinal, the beautiful hue of a sunset, the babbling waters of a creek and in so many other ways. He answers in simple but deeply meaningful ways. In what ways has God, your husband, shown that He is listening to you?

Companion – God is a 24/7 presence in my life. He is my companion. He is the one I share random conversations with as I go through my day. He is the one who is there when I am heartbroken over bad news and He is there when I am rejoicing good news. I rest on the promise God gives us in Hebrews 13:5 Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. I know that I can take God at His word. I trust Him completely.

Guide – Just as God guided the Israelites by cloud during the day and by fire at night, I know that the Holy Spirit guides me in my single mom journey. In any decision I need to make, the Holy Spirit, is a prayer away and ready to step in to guide me. He is not going to let me hang in the wind. He will lead me in the way I must go.

Wise Counsel – I know that if I am burdened by any issue or am living in sin, the Holy Spirit, in love will deal with my heart. If I listen, He will tell me how to restore any situation that I might find myself in. He is always present to tell us how to navigate life as a single mom.

Soon after the single mom retreat, I realized that the role God played in my life had changed. No longer was He the Father that looked after me as I grew up. He was now my Husband and I knew, instinctively, that He was ALL that I needed. I made a vow to remain celibate not long after the retreat and I have never looked back. I don’t expect you to follow me into celibacy! I am asking you to give God a chance today to be the husband that you need. Maybe forever or until He brings a Godly man into your life to fill that role. You NEED Him, single mom! Whether you know it or not.

Challenge:

I challenge you to research the ways in which God (Holy Spirit) fills the role as husband in our lives. Start by finding scriptures for the roles listed above and expand from there. If you find others that aren’t listed, please send them to me! I love feedback and hearing from other single moms!

 

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Dear Single Mom: Healing Takes Time

August 7, 2020 by pattiburris

 

 

Dear Single Mom,

I know! I know! Who has time to think about healing? You have been tossed into this new life of being a single mom, possibly blindsided to boot, and you are barely able to keep your head above water. Who has time to heal? Let me tell you something right now, IT’S OKAY TO FOCUS ON HEALING!!! You need to heal to be the best mom possible for your kids.

I wish I could tell you that I made healing a priority early on. I did not and my kids suffered for it. I was a HOT MESS of emotions and they were the ones who had to see their mom seething with rage, trying to beat up their dad’s new girlfriend (they have been together now for 20 years and she is my BEST FRIEND). I was so overwhelmed with guilt, fear, hate, rage, bitterness, you get the point, that I failed to see that they were affected too. I made it all about me and it wasn’t all about me. Their dad has ALWAYS been in their lives and he has ALWAYS been about his kids and taking care of them, but they had to adjust to a co-mom, 4 new brothers, and a new house for us. I wish that I had focused on my healing at the beginning. If I had then I could have been there as a whole person for them. I wasn’t whole. I was a broken mess and I added to my kids burdens.

Living in regret doesn’t solve anything, so I am using my experience to tell you to focus on healing NOW! Don’t wait. I wish someone had told me that at the beginning. I learned the hard way. I am fortunate that I renewed my faith in God and began to heal the pain of my past. My kids are fine for the most part. I am blessed to be able to share my testimony with you and walk with you in your journey.

REMINDER:

You know that heartache and anger that you are feeling? Imagine what your child must be dealing with. Add confusion to the mix, because they don’t understand, and you have a child who may act out when he/she never did before. Your child may become withdrawn or depressed. I know it seems selfish to think about our own healing first, but until we are whole we can’t appropriately help our kids heal.

Don’t let any more time go by without focusing on your healing, single mom. Your kids need you mentally and emotionally healthy. If you need guidance in your healing, visit my L.I.F.E program page. It is an e-coaching program that focuses on healing and transformation. I will be there 100% of the way. You are not alone in this single mom! It’s time to heal!

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