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Archive for the ‘My Daily Life’ Category

 

Luke 10:38-42

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I am a Martha. I worry and get upset about many things and these things keep me from sitting at the feet of Jesus. I am a perfectionist. If everything is not perfect, I give up and start over. I can’t even count how many times I have started over in my attempt to read the Bible through in a year. The busyness of life would get in the way and I would give up. There is always a reason not to spend more time with Jesus, but in all reality, nothing else matters but that time sitting at the Master’s feet.

When our time comes to an end, everything else will pass away and the only thing that will matter is the time we spend with Jesus. I want to be a Mary. I want to be able to let everything else go and simply focus on my relationship with my Savior. I want to be able to let go of the busyness, the distractions, the worries and the fears and simply be able to abide in Jesus. I want to be one with Jesus. To let everything else slip away and simply BE with my Jesus.

How? How do I become a Mary in this world of chaos and distractions? It takes prioritizing our time. What can we give up in order to put Jesus first in our lives? For me technology is a big distraction that takes up too much of my time. I need to let go of my need to sit in front of my laptop and spend that time abiding with Christ.

What can you give up in order to spend more time with Jesus? What do you need to do in order to be a Mary in a Martha world? How can you make Jesus the #1 priority in your life?

 

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ty-and-ava

 

 

large-4-wheeler

 

Matthew 21:22

And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.

Psalm 91:11-12

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

 

I am blessed and am praising God for protecting my 15 year old son, Ty. Ty (pictured above) was on a 4 wheeler about the size of the one pictured above Saturday, when the 4 wheeler flipped as they were going down a steep hill. Ty was thrown clear of the 4 wheeler. I am sure that had it landed on him, it would have killed him. Ty is not a very big guy and could have been killed. He scraped his leg up a bit and it is sore, but I thank God for answering the prayers of this mom and sending His angels to keep Ty from being pinned under the weight of that machine.

I am here to tell you not to give up on praying for your kids. Whatever the situation, God can and will protect your children. Never stop believing. Never stop praying. Our kids walk into situations everyday where God may intervene without our knowing it. We can’t be with them 24/7, especially when they grow up, but God is with them always. This is not the only situation where God has protected one of my kids. I trust Him to take care of my kids. I hope you do too. God is the only one who can protect them always. I, for one, am a very grateful mama!

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Kiowasiouxburris

 

I watched her disappear down the boarding ramp. My heart ached. As the tears streamed down my face, I couldn’t help but remember when she was 2 and stuffed worms in her coat pockets. I found them when I did the laundry, all shriveled up. She still has the crack in her tooth from a stunt she tried on her bike when she was 10. Always the dare-devil, she would ride her bike down the porch steps, nearly giving me a heart attack. She ran her first half-marathon when she was 14 and finished in the top 4 percent. When she was 17, she defended a classmate who was being bullied at school. A week before her 18th birthday, she ran her first marathon. She finished just 8 minutes shy of qualifying for the Boston Marathon. I shouldn’t have been surprised when this courageous, risk-taking, defender of justice announced that she was joining the Air Force. She had served four years of JR ROTC in high school, but had always sworn up and down that she would NEVER join the military!

Yet, there I was, my heart pounding with a mixture of pride and fear. I gave her a farewell hug, whispering, “Stay strong and trust God.” As I watch her plane take off, taking her to a far away land, I whisper the same words to my own heart, “Stay strong and trust God.”

Easier said than done. How can I trust God to protect this daughter of mine? How can I trust Him to keep her safe from harm? Matthew 10:30 tells us that God has numbered the very hairs on our head. I love my daughter with all of my heart and soul, but I have not numbered the hairs on her head. How much more must He love her, to have every hair on her head numbered? As much as I love her, He loves her so much more.

Do I still worry? I would be lying if I said I didn’t. These are troubling times. I think some worry lurks in the heart of every military mom. I remind myself that I serve a God that is in control of ALL circumstances. Nothing happens on this earth that He doesn’t know about. I pray for her safety, as she does her job as an electrician. I pray that God will keep her out of harm’s way, here and abroad. I pray that God will continue to give her courage as she serves this beautiful country that we call the United States of America. When the worry creeps in, or missing her becomes to much for me to handle, I feel the whispering of the Holy Spirit in my own heart, telling me to, “stay strong and trust God.”

 

 

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courage

 

1 Corinthians 7:7-9

I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Contrary to popular belief some people are called to be single. Not everyone has a soul mate and not everyone is meant to be married. Paul said that being single is a gift for some, just as being married is a gift for others.

I firmly believe that I am one of those who has been called to be single. I have accepted the gift of singleness and I am content in that role. I was married for 7 1/2 years and I don’t regret it. Out of that marriage came the 5 blessings of my life. My ex and I were not meant to be, and I am okay with that. He has been married to a wonderful woman for a few years now and I have been happily single for 16 years. I don’t believe that there is someone for everyone. I believe that my someone is God. For a few years after my divorce, I thought that something was wrong with me because I could not find that “special someone.” God transformed my heart and I realized that God is my “special someone” and I am content serving and living for God and God alone. Other than an emotional connection I had with someone right after my divorce, I have not been in a relationship with anyone since my divorce. I made a choice about 10 or so years ago that I would remain celibate. There are friends and loved ones that would love to fix me up or who think that I need to find someone. They all mean well, but honestly, I don’t want a relationship to distract me from what’s important. I know that there are people out there who can not understand the choice that I have made. They don’t need to understand. Serving and glorifying God is the most important thing and I am more than willing to remain celibate for the rest of my life, if that is God’s will for me.

I am glad that I am not one of those people who chases around after “Mr. or Mrs. Right.” That takes so much energy and it is a huge distraction from the most important thing, serving God. No offense to those who feel that they need someone to make their life complete. No offense to those who feel called to marriage. We are all different and each has, his or her, own God-given gifts.

I choose celibacy. I choose to remain single. Never let anyone make you feel ashamed for doing what you feel is right for you. God has a different path for each one of us. Find the courage to do what is in your heart. Find your voice. Live your life. Do what God is calling you to do and trust Him with the outcome.

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waiting for the Lord

 

Exodus 14:13-14

13 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Psalms 46:10

10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,  I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 37:7

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

I have always had this tendency to head for the hills as soon as life gets tough. I have always had a hard time with staying put and trusting God to work things out. I have always had a hard time trusting that God would fight for me. I try to control my own destiny when I think things aren’t going the way I think they should. Needless to say, my attempts to control my destiny usually end in disaster. It would be so much easier if I would just listen to God and obey His will for my life. Life gets messy. Sometimes we are surrounded by chaos and despair. Sometimes we are oppressed by our circumstances. That is life in a fallen world. How do we fight that urge to run when life gets tough?

  1. Pray– Pray that God will reveal what it is He wants you to do in your situation. Pray for patience and courage. Pray for deliverance. Prayer keeps us connected to God’s heart, which is essential when we are dealing with a difficult situation. Pour out your heart to God on a daily basis. Our heavenly Father is listening and He cares about what you are going through.
  2. Serve– Find a way to serve in your community while you wait for God to act. Serving in any capacity is a way to minister to someone else who may be dealing with their own difficulties. Instead of wallowing in our troubles, helping to alleviate the stress in someone else’s life will often bring us hope in our own lives.
  3. Community– Build a support system. Find other people who are going through a similar situation. Often times, simply knowing that we aren’t alone in our circumstances gives us comfort.
  4. Grow– Many times, God keeps us in the fire to teach us something we need to learn in order to move on in His will. Take this time to figure out what it is that God wants you to learn. Make the choice to grow despite the trials of life.

I know first hand how hard it is to sit and wait for God to act. We want things done NOW! Waiting for God can be painful. Trusting Him can be hard. Surrendering my life to Him has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I still struggle to control circumstances in my life. I still find myself looking for greener pastures. I am learning to grow in my own messy circumstances. I am learning to serve from my own chaos. I am learning to find community in the midst of my despair. I am learning to pray and trust God to work in my life as He sees fit. I am learning to be still and let God fight for me. As I grow from my circumstances, I will keep you updated here. Through my mess, I am determined to become a willing vessel that God can use, right where I am.

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tired-car

 

Well, I am officially without a car. Someone put oil in where my transmission fluid goes and my transmission locked up on me Monday night. As a single mom, with a full-time job and no car, this is a blow. I can’t afford another car until I get my tax refund. I can’t afford a down payment or a monthly payment on one. I also, don’t like asking for help and having to depend on my 22 year old daughter to drive me to work.

This is definitely a test of faith. I have to trust God to work this out. I feel in a way that He is stripping me of some important things and maybe that is so that I will grow in my dependence on Him and depend less on the people around me. I feel that God is preparing me for an important ministry and He is molding my character to fit this role.

There is something that I want to do. A secret desire that I am praying about. Do I dare speak it aloud? My deepest desire is to be a missionary to single moms. To be able to minister full-time to single moms and to encourage the faith-based community to start more ministries for single moms. So, this loss of my car seems to be a test in faith. Do I trust God to provide for us no matter what? Can I let go of my need to control everything a let God be God? Can I let go of my need to have a “stable” income and trust God to provide what we need? It is scary, but I am so ready for this. I am so ready for God to open up the doors and allow me to minister to single moms where they are. Feeling out of control can be scary, but I guess it is when we feel out of control that we are more able to surrender our lives to a God that is completely in control.

I will continue to pray for a car and for this missionary opportunity. I will of course, keep all of you up to date. God Bless!

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overwhelmed

Isaiah 40:28

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

I know I haven’t written in a couple of months, I’ve been completely overwhelmed with life. Below is a glimpse into my life these last few months and how God has worked in the struggle:

My 21 year old daughter, Cherokee, moved back home in January, with her daughter Ava. They had moved to North Carolina in March of 2014 to be with Cherokee’s husband, who is a U.S. Marine. They had been married a year at that point, but had not lived together. After 10 months of living together and struggling to make it work, Cherokee decided to move back home with Ava. A couple of weeks later, she found out that she is pregnant with my first grandson, who is due in October. So, being mom to Cherokee, as she rebuilds her life and decides what she wants for herself and her 2 children, has caused some anxiety. She is a sweet, loving young woman, but she is also strong-willed and independent. She loves her kids and is an amazing mom to Ava. I have prayed that she will open her heart to God and answer the call He has placed on her life.

Kiowa, my 20 year old daughter, left for Air Force basic training on March 1st and graduated April 24th. She is now in tech school and it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions! She has been overwhelmed many times. She has called home sobbing because she wasn’t “getting it”. Her journey has had me sitting on the edge of my seat, biting my finger nails to the nubs, waiting to see if she will pass each test. I have been praying without ceasing that God will make His will known and that He will give her the confidence and peace that she needs to get through this. Kiowa is rekindling her relationship with her Heavenly Father and the Air Force will be blessed because of it.

18 year old daughter, Cree, just graduated high school and will be moving into the dorms at a local college in August. She is outgoing, smart, and has a heart for God. I have to sigh when it comes to Cree, because she has this very creative artistic side, but she has no common sense and is a creative slob. Her room is a mess, she is disorganized, but she is a very talented young artist and she has a genuine passion for little kids. I have been (nagging) her to make sure all of her stuff is turned in and everything is done. I worry because she is so scatterbrained. Will she get things done if I’m not there to nag her? It’s only because I love her and want her to succeed. God will use my Cree in AMAZING ways and I can’t wait to see it!

Talon is 15 and is starting high school this year. He is 15 going on 20! He starts driver’s education in November and can’t wait to get his license in April. Talon has a heart for helping others, for standing up for the little guy, and takes his job as big brother to Ty very seriously.

13 year old Ty will be attending 7th grade this year. He struggles in school. He would rather be at home looking up his dream car on the internet. He is all about fast cars and always has been. Ty is so funny and affectionate. I pray that God will protect both of my sons from the effects of the secular world and that they will grow up to be the men of God that they are meant to be.

As a single mom, I have been overwhelmed with parenting kids that are transitioning into adulthood and facing adult problems. I have been learning (although slowly) that I can’t control the choices they make. I can advise them and pray for them, but at some point we have to let go and allow God to shape them into the people He wants them to be. This is not easy, but I can’t continue to be overwhelmed by their lives. I have to surrender them to God.

I have been overwhelmed by work the last couple of months. I don’t have a hard job, but it does get stressful at times and working 6 days in a row or getting one off in 10 is exhausting. I know it sounds like I’m whining. It makes it hard to manage my diabetes and hypertension when my work has me out of sorts. I think things may be calming down now. Now I just pray for every other weekend off so I can go back to church, if I find one I want to go to.

I have also, struggled with being “dechurched”. I still struggle with needing to be a part of that community of believers, but not really fitting in anywhere. I’m seeking the church of Acts and I’m not finding it. I won’t give up. In the meantime I pray, I read God’s Word and I desperately seek Jesus. I desperately seek that oneness with Christ that exudes that love of Christ to every one I meet. Sometimes, I feel that maybe I am being to picky, but this is my relationship with God. I can’t settle for something that isn’t going to deepen that relationship. I can’t settle for something that might extinguish that fire. I simply won’t settle.

This has been my life the last few months. I get tired. I get weary. I get overwhelmed, but my God never does! God NEVER gets tired! God NEVER gets weary! My Rock, my Refuge, My Shelter, my God understands every sigh, every groan in my spirit, every tear shed for my children, every exhausted half prayer as I climb into bed. He understands when we are so overwhelmed that we feel that we just can’t go on. God is there, waiting for you, waiting for me to ask for His help.

If the load of life is wearing you down today, God understands. Unload your burden on Him. He can handle it. Trust Him with it. He never grows tired. He never grows weary. Surrender the load and trust Him to give you peace. Let it go, friend. Don’t carry the burden alone. If you need someone to listen, I am here for you. God loves you and so do I!

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