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Posts Tagged ‘single mom’

Dear Single Mom: Setting Priorities

Posted in For Single Moms, tagged , , , on September 17, 2020| Leave a Comment »

 

Dear single mom,

I know how long your to-do list can get. I know how hard it can be to be torn between work, household chores, the kids school/after school activities and other obligations. There were times when I felt like someone had placed me on a hamster wheel and I would never get off. It’s hard to say NO when you are faced with activities/events that are important to you or your kids.

Reality check: 

You can’t do everything. Trying to will drive you crazy and keep you from enjoying quality time with your kiddos. It’s important for everyone to set priorities, but even more so for the single mom who is juggling more plates by herself. Some of the top priorities for me are listed below:

  1. God– He is #1 period! Nothing else matters if He is not at the center of our family and our daily lives. Everything I do revolves around my relationship with God. Every decision I make is made according to what will glorify God and be in God’s will. I prioritize prayer, Bible study, and church. I am not perfect. I mess up, but I am determined not to let my relationship with God fall by the wayside.
  2. Myself– This might sound selfish, but realistically if you are not healthy how can you take care of your kids? I try to find time for silence and solitude. I always loved taking bubble baths after the kids went to bed. I went to a community college and obtained my Associates degree in Human Services. I found time to get together with other adults. I tried to eat right, sleep right and exercise. I struggled emotionally, but tried not to let that affect the kids. I have to be honest, it did affect the kids. There were times when my emotional struggle was out of control. If we don’t take care of our own issues, we won’t be fully aware of our kids needs. If we don’t take care of ourselves first, our kids will suffer for it.
  3. Children– Typically, our kids are our #1 priority. I take care of myself, but even if I am sick, my kids still need to be taken care of. I had pneumonia for 6 weeks a few years ago. The doctor eventually told me that either I stayed home from work or I was going to be hospitalized. I agreed to stay home, because I had 5 kids to take care of. I did what I had to for the kids, trying to take care of me at the same time. Remember though, the only way to make it through all the activities, appointments, and kid issues is to take care of ourselves. I have found it easier to take care of the kids when I center my life on God and take care of myself.
  4. Home– I was completely overwhelmed with housework. I had 5 kids in a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom house. There were toys everywhere, laundry was piled up and it was lived in. There were times when it was a mess and I did the minimum of keeping the trash picked up, doing the laundry and doing the dishes. There were also other times when it was organized and orderly. I encourage you to find a way to make housework easier and involve the kids. It doesn’t have to be immaculate. Make housework a team sport and make it fun. Create new family traditions with your kids. Create a family night where you do crafts, watch movies, have a Bible study, etc. The main thing is to make the home a safe place for you and your kids to come to when life gets tough. Whatever you need to do to create that space for all of you, I encourage you to do it.
  5. Others– The above 4 should be your top priorities. After that you can decide where your attention needs to be.

 

Setting priorities is not always easy. There will be times when things overlap and you have to make the hard choice. There will be times when work has to come before a child’s activity. There will be times when a child’s illness will prevent you from going to work or a social event with friends. There will always be choices. The only priority I do not change though is keeping God #1. If God is not at the center everything else falls apart. What are your priorities? Do your normal activities fall into those categories? I encourage you to take a look at your activities and how they align with God’s word. I also encourage you to see where your life may be out of balance. A balanced life is a peace filled life.

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Dear Single Mom: Discovering The Promises Of God

Posted in For Single Moms, tagged , , , , , , , , on July 15, 2020| Leave a Comment »

 

Dear Single Mom,

This has been a crazy year and it isn’t over yet! I know that many of you have lost your jobs due to the Coronavirus and many of you have struggled to balance job and e-learning. As we head into a school year that will be an adjustment period for parents, teachers and students, know that you are NOT alone in your struggle.

Your life has been tough enough already, without the added stress of a pandemic. On a normal day, you balance job, bills, housework, discipline, homework, meals, demands from the ex, and other miscellaneous responsibilities. You are stressed out, depressed, and lacking sleep. I have walked in your shoes, single mom, and I am here to tell you that certain situations may not change, but life can be better!

If I did not have Jesus in my life, I would not be here. I am being real with you. Will having a relationship with Jesus suddenly make the Coronavirus disappear? No. Will you still struggle in some aspects of your single mom journey? More than likely. Life is not perfect. Welcome to a fallen world, where sin and evil lurk, waiting to snatch whatever happiness we have been lucky enough to grasp.

The answer, plain and simple is Jesus! When you have a deep, abiding relationship with Jesus, this is what God promises that you will have in your life:

HOPE

Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the Lord, shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” Declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

LOVE

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 

1 John 4:9-11

9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Romans 8:37-39

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 John 4:16

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

JOY

Romans 12:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Psalm 28:7

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

Nehemiah 8:10

And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

PEACE

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Phillipians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 4:8

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.

REFUGE

Isaiah 54:10

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Psalm 91:9-13

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, 10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you  to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

I offer these verses as encouragement in these precarious times. I challenge you to continue the search for other scriptures on the above topics. The verses I listed are in no way exhaustive and much comfort can be found in the pages of the Bible. You may wonder if these promises are really meant for you. In Mark 9:23 Jesus tells us that EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE FOR THE ONE WHO BELIEVES! Have HOPE that you will find JOY and PEACE in the ONE who LOVES you and HE will be your REFUGE!

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