It was a beautiful day for the Associate’s orientation. It was a day of prayer. It was a day of sharing our stories. Each person with a different story of how Providence brought them to this place of belonging. It was a day of reflection. It was a day of discomfort.

As an introvert with anxiety issues and social phobias, sharing my story with a group of 60 or so people was terrifying. I was shaking in my shoes as I stood there and held the microphone. I had rehearsed some of what I wanted to say, but it came out so much better than I had hoped. I’m sure they all heard the trembling in my voice and I did tear up once (What can I say, I’m emotional!). This was just the beginning of God pushing me out of my comfort zone on this journey. My companion, Sister Kay, has her work cut out for her. Since Saturday, I have been reflecting on why I want to be an associate and what my expectations are for this candidacy year and going forward.

I want to be an associate, because I want to be a reflection of love, mercy and justice in my sphere of influence. I want to join the Sisters in fighting for justice in the world. The Sisters are living examples of love in action. In many of our stories, we each shared a sense of belonging or being home. This isn’t a coincidence. The Sisters embody a spirit of hospitality and compassion. This campus has become a refuge for many of us. A place of peace in the midst of chaos. A shelter in the storm. We feel the loving presence of our Foundress, Saint Mother Theodore Guerin and we know that in this place, we are safe.

I think the key word for this next year is GROW. I want to grow in my relationship with God. I want to grow in my relationship with the sisters. I want to grow in my prayer life. I want to grow as a christian. I want to grow as a writer.  I want to take the time to discern God’s will for my life as an associate. My kids are getting to the age where they don’t need me as much and I have more freedom to see where the Holy Spirit is leading me. This will definitely be a year of reflection and discernment.

I want to be able to transition from working in the food service dept. to working with the sisters on social justice issues. This is where my heart is. I have a passion to see justice for the oppressed, the abused, the lost. Oppression has many faces. There are so many people around the world who suffer in silence. They live lives of silent desperation and cry out in their pain. Is anyone listening? I have such a burning desire to join in the fight for these precious souls full-time, that at times, I cry out in frustration because I have bills to pay and money is a necessary evil. For now, I will do my best where God has placed me and trust in His Providence to work out a way that I may have my heart’s desire.

Psalm 37:4 

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

This is my prayer.

These are some of the things that have been on my mind since the orientation. God is molding my character. I feel it in my spirit. It can be a painful process, but so rewarding. I am a mess, but God is molding me into a vessel that He can use. That is what this process of becoming a Providence Associate is to me. It is the molding process that is needed to make me a scarred, but beautiful vessel that God can use to do His will on this earth. As I said in the orientation, I am where I belong.



Man in the Mirror

Michael Jackson

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin’ My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer’s Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man’s Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya’ Know
‘Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That’s Why I Want You To

I’ve Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It’s Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They’re Not

A Widow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody’s Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya’ See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be

That’s Why I’m Starting With
Me. I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change

As I was watching the Voice Monday night, it was like I was hearing this song for the first time. I am a child of the 80’s and have always been a huge Michael Jackson fan. I have heard this song many times and it had never resonated with my soul the way it did Monday night.

This song is decades old and yet it still speaks to where we are today. This world is in chaos. This nation is in chaos. We, as a society, look to our own needs, instead of looking out for the needs of our neighbors. We live in a world where human trafficking is the fastest growing crime in the world. We live in a world where we turn a blind eye to women and children being beaten in their own homes. We live in a world where we fight violence with violence and no one is willing to compromise. We see the homeless person on the street, but ignore him as we walk by. Our hearts have been hardened by greed, selfishness, and apathy.

We complain about the crime, violence and chaos, but we are quick to blame others for the mess this world is in, “well, if she had acted differently this wouldn’t have happened.” or “he saw what was happening, he should have done something.” It is always someone else’s fault. How long is it going to take before we look in the mirror at our own reflections and decide that we have had enough? How many people will die before we decide that we, as individuals, need to start making changes in our own world?

We all have excuses. Those excuses aren’t a good enough reason to stand back and watch people suffer, when we can do something. It starts with ME. It starts with YOU. We each need to open our hearts and see where it is that we need to make a change in ourselves, so that we can make a change in this world. Are you willing to look in the mirror and make the change? I am. We can’t continue to sit back and watch as this world falls apart. We need to listen to Michael Jackson and start with the man in the mirror.

What change do you need to make in yourself to make a difference in this world?

*Disclaimer: this is not the entire song. I have condensed it to fit the purposes of this blog post.



For some reason, I didn’t post this guest post that I had written three years ago. I’m not sure why I didn’t post it, but here it is now. Click here to read my guest post on forgiveness.



A Servant’s Heart



My son Talon is 16 years old. Talon has always been a helper. Even when he was little, he would wait for the mail man, to give him a bottle of water in the Summer months. As he has gotten older and bigger, he has shoveled snow, cut grass, and helped many people in many different ways. When we have had homeless guests, he has gone above and beyond to help them out and make them feel welcome. He has gone with his dad to deliver meals to the hungry. He cares about people and never thinks about how helping someone might inconvenience him. He gives of his time and resources without considering the sacrifice. Talon has always had a great work ethic and doesn’t mind working hard, if it means helping someone out. He is always the first one to offer help and puts his heart and soul into other people.

In all honesty, he did not get this trait from me. I really hate admitting this, but I can be selfish when it comes to helping others, if I think I might be inconvenienced in any way. I really hate this about myself. It is something I am working on and watching Talon, as he gives of himself, encourages me to be better. It isn’t that I don’t like helping people, I do. I hate to see anyone in need. For me, it is about my daily to-do list and letting the stress of life get to me. I am challenging myself to let my anxiety over getting things done go, when I know that someone is in need of help and I have the ability to help them. There is always tomorrow. My to-do list can wait and serving others is what Jesus is all about. Letting someone else know that you love them enough to help them is what Jesus is all about. Loving others to Jesus is what life is all about and Talon has taught me a thing or two about that.

My challenge to you: Let go of your to-do list and be willing to help someone this week, regardless of the inconvenience and sacrifice. Be willing to love someone to Jesus.

My Journey Begins



One week from today, I will begin my journey to becoming a Providence Associate. I actually started this journey 5 years ago, but I still had growing to do. I have always been an introvert. I have always been one to hide behind others. I don’t allow myself to get to close to anyone, because they might see the “real” me and reject me. Any time I start to get to close to a group of people, I panic and run. I have dealt with social anxieties all my life. This journey is going to push me out of my comfort zone. It will cause some discomfort. Growing often causes discomfort. It is going to cause me to open up and really trust people with the secrets of my heart. I am here for a reason. I have to trust the Providence of God.

During these last 5 1/2 years of working with the Sisters, I have felt myself open up and dare to trust. They have loved me through good and bad. They have encouraged me when they knew I was tired or down. They have prayed for me and they have spoken words of wisdom when I needed to hear it. God has used these women numerous times to bring me a sense of peace when life was difficult and I felt like running. I have often felt frustrated at not finding my “purpose” in life. I have struggled at not having a “ministry” when so many others are serving God and others full-time. At times when I have struggled the most, God has brought different sisters to me to tell me that my job there is a ministry, that my ministry is there, that I belong there, that being an associate is in my heart.

The sisters see me and they love me. I do belong at that beautiful place they call “The Woods.” I love them. I love these women and would do anything for them. The thought of being transparent scares me. The thought of being “me” in front of the Sisters and the other associates terrifies me, but I won’t run. God has things to teach me here and I am going to stay put and continue to grow in this place of love. I am ready to be transparent. I am ready to be me. I belong in this place of love, mercy and justice.

Live In Peace



2 Corinthians 13:11

11 Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Romans 12:18

18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.


We live in a world where violence is all we see on the T.V. and movie screen, where hate and evil are the news of the day and Satan is causing chaos everywhere. Peace seems to be elusive. It doesn’t have to be. I’m not naive enough to think that we will have complete peace as long as Satan is allowed to roam the earth, but we can squash him by bringing peace to our corner of the world.

James 4:7

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Satan does not have power, unless we give him power. If we love those around us and bring peace to our homes, neighborhoods, workplaces and communities, things can change. Satan will have to flee. If we stand together against the hate, the violence and the chaos, Satan will no longer have a foothold. If we stand together, in unity, and embrace our differences, we can bring change to a world in desperate need of change. If we can learn from each other about our different religions, cultures, races and lifestyles, without the fear that someone is trying to change us, our world can change. If we can tear down the wall that divides us, our communities can change. If we can let go of the resentments that have hardened our hearts, our children’s lives can change. We have to choose, every day to BE that change. We have to choose, one person at a time, to bring peace in the communities in which we live. We are so busy fighting against each other, that we can’t see that Satan is sitting back and laughing at our stupidity. Let’s choose to quit fighting each other and choose to fight the real enemy, the Devil himself.

I am challenging you to find a way to bring peace into your corner of the world today. What can you do to bring about reconciliation in a situation? What can you do to be a peacemaker in the lives of those around you?

God can change us, He can change this world, but He expects US to partner with Him. It starts with US.


What Is Your Passion?

ty 2         68 charger

old and new chevy

My son Ty is 14. I have never known a time in his life when he wasn’t passionate about cars and trucks. Every year for his birthday or Christmas, he wanted something car related: remote control cars, hot wheels, racing video games, the Dukes of Hazard DVD series, and his favorite, the Fast and Furious movie series (he is already counting down the time for Furious 8). Ty knows the year, make and model of many, many cars on the road. He eats, sleeps and breathes cars and trucks. His preference is race cars. The above images were taken from his Facebook wall. This is pretty much all you will see on his Facebook wall. Cars, cars, and more cars. This is his life and ALL he talks about. He wants to be a race car driver or stunt car driver when he is older. I love that Ty has found a passion in his young life and he has given me something to think about in my own life. What am I passionate about? What drives me? What do I eat, sleep and breathe?

My hope and prayer is that I am as passionate about God as Ty is about cars. I pray that my life shows that all consuming fire for God to those I cross paths with in my daily life. I know I love God with ALL of my heart and soul, but am I doing enough to show this to the world? There is always room for improvement. Growing in my relationship with God is a lifelong journey and I am always asking myself, “what do I need to change to really show my passion for God?” I want others to see my burning passion for the Lord. I want people to see that I am so on fire for God that I would be willing to give up my job, home, or whatever else he asked me too, to go where he calls me. I want the world to see that dwelling in Christ and sharing His love with those that are lost mean more to me than any creature comforts that I could ever own. I want people to look at me and see the reflection of who Jesus is. I have a long way to go, but it’s something to aspire too.

I watch my son, as he watches his Fast and Furious movies for the billionth time and smile. I thank God for giving me a life lesson through this passionate 14 year old that I am proud to call my son. If our hearts are open, we can learn from our children. Thank you, Ty, for showing me what being passionate is all about.