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I seek…A Poem

 

I Seek

In the world, I seek…

Peace, but find chaos…

Love, but find hate…

Justice, but find condemnation…

Mercy, but find cruelty…

Compassion, but find judgement…

I seek, but never find…

I am seeking in the wrong place…

Where? Where is the answer to be found?

I am lost…

I am lost…

I turn my eyes to the hills…

Jesus…

In Him, I find…

A peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7)…

A love that never fails ( 1 Corinthians 13:8)…

A justice that upholds the cause of the oppressed (Psalm 146:7)…

Tender mercies from a loving God (Psalm 25:6)…

A compassion that is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23)…

In Jesus I have no fear…

“In the world you will have tribulation. but take courage; I have overcome the world!” (John 16:33)

 

 

Proverbs 20:22

Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!”
    Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you.

 

After my divorce, I was filled with anger. I felt like I was being abandoned. My hopes and dreams lay scattered at my feet and I was furious at my then husband for what was happening. I was full of rage and I was determined to pay back the wrong that had been done to me.

I’m sure you’ve been there, single mom. You are Filled with so much anger that it keeps you focused on that wrong that has been done to you. That rage takes your eyes and heart off of what’s important: your kids. It’s easy to get sucked into that hurt and anger. It is normal to feel that revenge will help you feel better. It is normal to want that person that caused you pain to suffer too.

I’m here to tell you, single mom, that revenge will NOT help you feel better. I won’t go into detail about my own childish behavior, but I will tell you that my actions left me feeling guilty about the example I had set for my kids. I regretted behaving that way in front of my kids and I felt like the worst mom in the world.

Did God avenge the wrong done to me? Well, sort of. In my situation, He changed my heart towards my now ex-husband. The more I trusted God and leaned on God, the more I felt my anger melt away. I still get angry at times, but I trust God to take care of the situation for me.

Your saying, “well, my ex-husband beat me, he deserves everything he gets.” That may be true, but your #1 priority has to be your kids. Allow God to work in the situation. He WILL fight for you. If you focus on your children and allow the Holy Spirit to melt that anger in your heart, God will protect you and fight for you. I am NOT saying to not fight for justice in your situation. If you have to take someone to court or get a protective order to protect yourselves and your kids, then absolutely do what you need to do to protect yourself and your children. I am saying to seek justice within the law and not seek revenge based on anger and rage. Our God is a God of justice and He will bring justice in your circumstance. You are a daughter of God, He loves you and He will fight for you.

My challenge to you: Allow the Holy Spirit to heal your spirit and melt the anger in your heart. There will still be times when something happens that makes you angry. If you need to seek justice within the law, then do so. Trust God to bring justice. Your kids need a mom who is at peace and is focused on doing what is best for them. Allow the peace of God to fill your home. Do not allow the anger and chaos of Satan to enter your home. Your kids feel what you feel. Let go of the hate and rage and trust God to work.

If you need prayer or an encouraging word, just drop me a line via my contact form. I am always here to help, my single mom friend!

Accept One Another

 

Romans 15:7

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

This passage does NOT say to judge one another. But, that is exactly what we do. We use our Christianity to put ourselves on a pedestal and we judge everyone below us. Why do we do that? Jesus NEVER judged anyone! Jesus was compassionate, merciful and humble. He never put Himself above anyone else. He even said that He was not sent to be served, but to serve (Matthew 20:28). Jesus had every right to put Himself on a pedestal. He IS the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! But, Jesus was not like that.

We, as Christians, need to reread the Gospels and really let the characteristics of Christ sink into our hearts. We need to embody Christ. We need to be more accepting of those that are different than we are. We need to be more accepting of those with different opinions and not assume they are wrong because we might not agree. Do we think that God loves one of us more than another? Well, God does NOT have favorites (Romans 2:11). God loves the homeless as much as He loves the millionaire. He loves the drug addict as much as He loves the pure in heart. We ALL have imperfections. We ALL mess up. We ALL have made HUGE mistakes at one time or another. We have ALL lived in sin. None of us has any reason to condemn or judge anyone else.

My challenge to you (and myself!) is to go back and reread the Gospels and write down in a notebook the characteristics of Jesus. Then we need to make an conscious effort to embody those characteristics on a daily basis. Live like Jesus. Don’t expect everyone to serve you. Go out and serve others. If the King of Kings was humble enough to wash the disciples feet, we should be too.

 

1 Corinthians 1:10

10 I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

The Church of America is divided. We have separated ourselves into our man-made denominations and pick which parts of scripture we feel fits our personal doctrines. We find denominations competing against each other and fighting over which one is “right.” Inside the local church, we find cliques being formed based on social status or demographics. Unfortunately, there is always the group of “undesirables” that get left out. In my experience, it has been those “undesirables” that have the closest relationship with God. We bicker, argue and judge to the point of driving people away. Many people are now saying that non-Christians are more accepting and loving than Christians. Non-Christians stand back and watch us fight among ourselves and they are glad that they are on the outside. A house divided can not stand.

Mark 3:25

If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

We SHOULD be united in the scriptures. We SHOULD be united in obedience to the Holy Spirit. We SHOULD be united in Jesus Christ. We serve ONE God and ONE resurrected Savior. There is only ONE Bible. We should NOT be divided. We SHOULD be united as Sisters and Brothers in Christ. We SHOULD be loving each other. We SHOULD be supporting each other. We need to stop the fighting and come together as the family of Christ. We ARE family! We have been adopted as children of God (Ephesians 1:5, Romans 8:14-17). We need to become that united Body of Christ that stands together in mind and thought. Let us glorify our God by taking a unified stand against Satan and those who are sitting back and waiting for the Church of America to implode. Jesus sacrificed His life for US. Don’t we owe it to Him to get our acts together and present a unified front?

 

A Promise

 

This is only a section of the magnificent show God put on Tuesday evening (August 1st). It had been raining with the sun still shining, and I commented to my friend that it was perfect conditions for a rainbow. We went into Wal Mart, and came back out about an hour later to this glorious full double rainbow. They both looked like they were close enough to touch. The bottom one was so vibrant that we could see the outline of each color. I don’t think anyone could capture the true magnificence of this work of God. Those of us who saw it were truly blessed because within 5 minutes it was gone. It was gone as quickly as it came.

I had been praying about a certain situation. I have worked in the same job for 6 1/2 years. I was hired in under the assumption that I would have every other weekend off. Although, I would have liked every Sunday to go to church, I was okay with every other weekend, because I had been out of work for 2 years and needed a job. 6 1/2 years later and I very rarely get a Sunday off. I am now on a stretch of working 8 Sundays in a row and possibly more depending on the next schedule. I CAN’T do this anymore! I try to tell myself that I can do without church, if I pray and read the Bible, but you know what? I’m just kidding myself. We NEED that connection with other Christians. I hunger for that connection. We had just left our home church of 6 years right before I started this job and I have not had enough Sundays off to connect anywhere. I have a Sunday off to go visit a church and then I work the next 4 to 8 Sundays. I’m at a breaking point. I have brought this to my bosses attention, obviously, it hasn’t helped. I am seriously at the point of quitting my job, so I can go to church on a regular basis. I don’t have another job lined up, but I know that if I sacrifice for God, that He will provide. God comes first. ALWAYS!!!

Anyways, I had been crying out to God about this situation for a few days and when I walked out and saw that double rainbow, I knew it was God telling me that everything would be okay. I knew that it was His promise to me that He would answer my prayer. He will honor my request.

There are times when we cry out to Him about some life situation and He honors us with a perfect double rainbow or some other awesome show of His love for us. In that moment, we know that that gift is just for us, as an answer to our prayers. I know that that double rainbow was just for me. It was God telling me that He loves me and He hears my cries for help. I serve an AWESOME God!

How Long, Lord?

 

Psalm 13

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

 

How many times have I uttered these same words in my 17 years as a single mom? Too many to count. At times, crying out to God in my despair was the only prayer I could manage. Feeling that God had abandoned me and would never hear my cries for help. For years, I have wrestled with the thoughts of anger, fear, abandonment, insecurity, doubt, you name it, I have wrestled with it. I have spent years with sorrow in my heart, wondering when my situation would change. Wondering when God would deliver me from the oppression of this single mom life. Life was my enemy. My circumstances were my enemy. I eventually realized that Satan is my enemy and he loves nothing more than to see me down in the dumps and not trusting God.

“Answer me, Lord! Help me! Deliver me from this oppression!” This was the cry of my heart. Still is on some days. Life is not perfect. I have my good days and my bad days. As the kids grow into adulthood, the struggles are different, but still ever present. They still need me and I still need them. I still struggle making ends meet financially. I struggle with new issues, more adult issues, that the kids are dealing with as they grow up. I struggle with when not to “parent” them but simply encourage them. I struggle with knowing when to just be that loving, listening ear. In all of this, I cry out to God for wisdom, provision and grace.

Even in the times when I feel that God has left me, I guess I am still rooted deep enough, that I still trust that He loves me. I still trust that God is working in my situation, even when I try to sabotage His efforts. Even when I feel abandoned, I still have faith that He IS there, waiting for me to find Him again. In ALL things I give praise! Times of trial are simply making us stronger in our faith. When I am facing the fire, I know that this is the time to really hang on to HIM in prayer and reading His word. Life is full of trials and struggles, but our God will NEVER change.

If you are crying out today, single mom, know that God hears you! Praise Him in the struggle. Trust in His unfailing love for you and your kids. Whatever it is, He will work it out. Keep praying and keep digging into the promises found in His word. If you need some extra prayer, contact me. I’m always here to lend an ear.

God loves you and so do I!

 

I am reminded daily that God cares about the small things in our lives. He cares about those situations that stress us out. It is my personal opinion that He delights in helping us out in stressful situations. I know that I delight in being able to help my kids out when they are facing struggles in life. God is no different, in fact, He loves us so much more.

I was at our local BMV yesterday with my paperwork to register a car that my 17 year old son, Talon had just bought. A female worker calls my number and I go up to her desk. She looks over my paperwork and asks about my proof of insurance. I had driven a different vehicle and had forgotten it. She was starting to tell me that I would have to step aside and call the insurance company when a worker down the line called another number. I was starting to get stressed, when my worker waved me down to the other worker, for no apparent reason and took the customer with the other number. My new worker took my insurance policy number off of my other vehicle information in the computer system and never blinked an eye. I got everything done and it ended up okay. This may seem like a coincidence. It may seem like a positive alignment of fate or something of that sort, but I know better. It was my God. Why would He help me out in such a simple matter? Because He loves me. Why do I help out my kids in simple matters? Because I love them.

Another incident happened a couple of days ago, with my son Talon. He was driving his dad’s 1990 Chevy truck around, doing whatever 17 year old guys do, when he decided that he would swing by his house (he lives with his dad and co-mom). He suddenly felt like stopping by the house and when he pulled into the alley beside the house the A-frame on the truck broke in two. He had no plans on stopping by the house. He just felt the urge to stop by. So, they just had to move it a few feet into the yard instead of having to deal with it miles from the house. I am also, reminded that Talon may have escaped injury because he paid attention to that little nudge to go home. This is not coincidence. This is not some cosmic favor. This is God. I pray over my kids and God hears my prayers.

My 15 year old son, Ty was thrown from a 4-wheeler in March. Had the 4-wheeler landed on him, he could have been killed. Coincidence? Nope! God sent His Guardian Angels to protect Ty and all he ended up with was a scrapped up leg. The Angels made sure that Ty was clear of the 4-wheeler.

Psalm 91:11-12

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

There are little things that God does on a daily basis to help me out. He works out little details to let me know that He is with me and I am not carrying this load alone. When I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, God shows up and performs little miracles to let me know that I am loved by the Creator of the Universe. Life is not perfect and sometimes I struggle on a daily basis, but I am blessed to be loved by my Abba Father. I don’t deserve His intervention, but I am so grateful for it.