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Posts Tagged ‘healing’

 

This week, I have started an online Bible study for women dealing with fear and anxiety (https://lovegodgreatly.com/) and I have started reading a book written by Nancy Wilson, Learning Contentment: A Study for Ladies of Every Age. I am reading a chapter per week in it and this week, both studies dealt with the subject of knowing God. They delved into the miracles of God and the fact that we can trust God to work miracles today on our behalf.

I have “known” God since I was a little girl. I was raised in church, baptized at nine and have loved the Lord all of my life. I know all about the miracles that God performed in the Bible. It is one thing to have “head knowledge” of who God is, but it is a completely different thing to “know in your heart” who God is. I think this might be it for me. Because of my tendency to build walls and my inability to really connect with people on an intimate level, I think I have been shutting God out of my life on some important level. Anxiety and fear are NOT from God. When we choose to worry and allow fear to keep us from God’s best for us, we are telling God that we don’t trust Him with our lives, or with our future. This is hard for me to deal with, because I love God with all of my heart and the last thing I want is to live in disobedience to Him by living in fear.

God has performed miracles in my own life as a single mom. I have been on the receiving end of His providence. I know that He will provide and protect always and yet, I still let worry and anxiety keep me imprisoned. I guess I just have to take this journey one moment at a time, one situation at a time and CHOOSE to trust God instead of worrying about the future. It is a choice. When we feel the fear and anxiety grip our heart, it is up to us to acknowledge it, do what we need to do to prepare for a possible situation, and trust God with the outcome.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This is a journey. It is my decision to tear down the wall and allow God in. I have lived within this prison for 47 years and I want to be free. It isn’t easy. It means being vulnerable and transparent. It means opening old wounds so they may heal correctly. It means being refined and pruned. Healing is painful, but so worth it.

Stay with me as I update you on the ups and downs of this journey and as always, if you need prayer to start or continue your own journey to healing, please contact me. I am always here to travel through this life with you.

God Bless!

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forgiveness

 

For some reason, I didn’t post this guest post that I had written three years ago. I’m not sure why I didn’t post it, but here it is now. Click here to read my guest post on forgiveness.

 

 

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single mom hand

My life as a single mom began with the bang of the gavel, in a quiet courthouse room on August 9, 2000. My life has been anything but quiet since then!

We had 4 kids at that time. The kids and I stayed in our home until I was accepted for Section 8 through our local Housing Authority. We moved into our own home in March of 2001. I was going to school full-time, working part-time and taking care of 4 kids 7 and under. I received a shock that same month that I was pregnant! It shouldn’t have been a shock. I was still involved with my ex-husband and was struggling to let go. The announcement that we were having another child was the end of our intimate relationship. He moved on with another woman and I was left with anger, depression, bitterness, hatred, fear, etc. You name it, I felt it! We still remained friends and he has been the family and support group that I did not have otherwise. My family lives in California and we live in Indiana. I was terrified of being left alone with 5 children. My ex-husband has always been determined that we would remain family. I have been blessed in that respect. Our oldest had just turned 8 when our youngest was born.

There were several times when my fear and anger consumed me and I behaved in ways that I hope I wouldn’t have otherwise. I attacked this woman physically 4 or 5 different times. These are not times that I am proud of. I set a horrible example for my children and certainly was not the example of Jesus to the world that I want to be. Fortunately, these were the early years and I’ve grown up since then.

I remember times when I just wanted to crawl in bed and never come out. My loneliness caused me to find comfort and support from a married co-worker. It never progressed passed an emotional affair, but it was still an affair. I knew it and God convicted me of it. I finally found another job and cut ties with this man.

I worked 20 hours a week, went to school full-time, took care of the household duties, and raised 5 children. I lived in poverty. I struggled to make ends meet, but they did meet. I was on section 8 and food stamps, but we had shelter and food. I can’t say that I was always faithful about tithing, but I did my best and God blessed us. I very rarely had to buy new clothes for the kids. When one needed clothes, clothes would show up in the way of friends or simply sitting on the porch from an anonymous benefactor. I shared vehicles with my ex-husband, because we always had vehicles breaking down.

13 years later, I am still a single mom and grandma. I have lived with my ex-husband and his now wife (the same woman I had attacked; we are now best friends, believe it or not!) since 2008 when our rental was sold unexpectedly. This arrangement has provided security for the kids. They have 3 adults that love them and support them. I was able to attain my Associates Degree in Human Services. I have a job that I like and am moving forward in starting a ministry for single moms.

This arrangement has been beneficial for us. I am still a single mom though and am feeling the need to stretch my wings and get my own place with my 4 children that are still at home. I have a feeling that God is working on opening some doors for us and I am really excited to see what is around the corner.

Through it all, God has been there. He has been my provider, my healer, my protector, my peace. I would not be here if it was not for my heavenly husband. I rest in His arms and I know I am safe. If you are struggling as a single mom and don’t know where to turn, contact me. I would love to help you navigate the waters of single motherhood. God loves you single mom!

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8-Jehovah-Rapha

Exodus 15:26

He said, “If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.”

How reassuring to know that we have a God that heals us! In my life my Jehovah Rapha has healed me from fear, a failed marriage, and anger. Not that I don’t sometimes feel fear or anger, but they don’t control me like they once did.

God wanted the Israelites to be healed from the past and live in peace. He loved His chosen people and only wanted what was best for them. He feels the same about us today. Our heavenly Father loves us and wants to heal us. He wants us to live in peace. He wants to heal us, but we have to be willing to admit that we need to be healed. We have to stop living in denial and accept God’s love for us. We need to let go of the thing that keeps us from living our lives fully and open our hands to receive the love and healing that God is waiting to pour out. He will not force us to accept this gift. We have to be at the point where we are sick and tired of the way things are and we are ready to experience how things can be with God. It is up to you, my friend. If you are ready to accept this gift of healing, open your heart to healing with the following prayer:

I am opening my heart to you, Jehovah Rapha, for healing. I am opening my body to you for healing. I open my spirit and my mind to you for healing. I am struggling with_______________ and need healing, Lord. I know that your healing is a gift and I let go of my hold on this issue and open myself up to your love and healing. I thank you and I praise you for the healing that is already taking place. I give you ALL the glory!

Amen

God can heal EVERYTHING! Addictions, a broken marriage, a chronic illness, a mental illness, spiritual issues, etc. God can heal it! You are never alone in your struggles. Jehovah Rapha is ALWAYS with us! Contact me if I can pray for you. I am here for you, sister friend!

the new doves nest

I am dedicating this post to the courageous women of the Dove’s Nest Recovery Home in Charlotte, North Carolina. The Dove’s Nest is part of The Charlotte Rescue Mission. I  found out about this christian recovery home for women through the On-line Bible Study with Proverbs 31 Ministries. These women are remarkable in their strength and determination to change their lives. For more information on the Doves Nest or to make a donation go to http://www.charlotterescuemission.org. I have faith that Jehovah Rapha will heal these women.

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