Patti Burris

My life as a single mom began with the bang of the gavel, in a quiet courthouse room on August 9, 2000. My life has been anything but quiet since then!

We had 4 kids at that time. The kids and I stayed in our home until I was accepted for Section 8 through our local Housing Authority. We moved into our own home in March of 2001. I was going to school full-time, working part-time and taking care of 4 kids 7 and under. I received a shock that same month that I was pregnant! It shouldn’t have been a shock. I was still involved with my ex-husband and was struggling to let go. The announcement that we were having another child was the end of our intimate relationship. He moved on with another woman and I was left with anger, depression, bitterness, hatred, fear, etc. You name it, I felt it! We still remained friends and he has been the family and support group that I did not have otherwise. My family lives in California and we live in Indiana. I was terrified of being left alone with 5 children. My ex-husband has always been determined that we would remain family. I have been blessed in that respect. Our oldest had just turned 8 when our youngest was born.

There were several times when my fear and anger consumed me and I behaved in ways that I hope I wouldn’t have otherwise. I attacked this woman physically 4 or 5 different times. These are not times that I am proud of. I set a horrible example for my children and certainly was not the example of Jesus to the world that I want to be. Fortunately, these were the early years and I’ve grown up since then.

I remember times when I just wanted to crawl in bed and never come out. My loneliness caused me to find comfort and support from a married co-worker. It never progressed passed an emotional affair, but it was still an affair. I knew it and God convicted me of it. I finally found another job and cut ties with this man.

I worked 20 hours a week, went to school full-time, took care of the household duties, and raised 5 children. I lived in poverty. I struggled to make ends meet, but they did meet. I was on section 8 and food stamps, but we had shelter and food. I can’t say that I was always faithful about tithing, but I did my best and God blessed us. I very rarely had to buy new clothes for the kids. When one needed clothes, clothes would show up in the way of friends or simply sitting on the porch from an anonymous benefactor. I shared vehicles with my ex-husband, because we always had vehicles breaking down.

13 years later, I am still a single mom and grandma. I have lived with my ex-husband and his now wife (the same woman I had attacked; we are now best friends, believe it or not!) since 2008 when our rental was sold unexpectedly. This arrangement has provided security for the kids. They have 3 adults that love them and support them. I was able to attain my Associates Degree in Human Services. I have a job that I like and am moving forward in starting a ministry for single moms.

This arrangement has been beneficial for us. I am still a single mom though and am feeling the need to stretch my wings and get my own place with my 4 children that are still at home. I have a feeling that God is working on opening some doors for us and I am really excited to see what is around the corner.

Through it all, God has been there. He has been my provider, my healer, my protector, my peace. I would not be here if it was not for my heavenly husband. I rest in His arms and I know I am safe. If you are struggling as a single mom and don’t know where to turn, contact me. I would love to help you navigate the waters of single motherhood. God loves you single mom!