It was January of 2011 when we decided to leave the Church as a family. We had decided at the beginning of 2010 that we would give it another year to see if things improved. They did not. We wanted to make sure that we, as a family, were making every attempt to make things work, because we really did NOT want to leave. We really didn’t want to leave on bad terms. Since then, we have struggled to find a church that we feel is right for us. I have attended other churches through the years, but have not found that home where I feel comfortable. Don’t worry, I am not putting that all on the Church. We are all human and none of us is perfect. I get that, but there are fundamental issues that I could not ignore. If it had just been people being imperfect, I could have dealt with that, but the issues that drove me away were a straying from the fundamental principals of Christianity. It was a straying away from God to please man and I could not support that.
The 12 reasons I left the Church are:
- Lack of meaningful prayer – I’m not saying that there isn’t prayer in the Church, but reading off our prayer requests is not all that prayer is about. Prayer is inviting God into the fabric of our lives. It is a communication with God where we talk to God, but we also listen. Prayer is the cornerstone in building an intimate relationship with God (Jesus). The Church is not teaching Christians how to pray. Most Christians don’t have an active prayer life because no one has ever taught them how to pray. Most Christians have never been taught how to incorporate prayer into their daily lives. Prayer is a partnership between us and God. Prayer is the way that God allows us to partner with Him in bringing about His will here on earth. We need active prayer in the Church.
- Too secular – The Church has become too secular. Leaders have decided that the way to bring people in is too become worldly. We have allowed things into the Church that are clearly against the Bible. Would Jesus watch horror movies, play violent or graphic video games, or go to rock concerts? I doubt it. Would He approve of videos in bars of comedians drinking alcohol being shown before the sermon and not having to do with the sermon? Would He approve of a church middle school girl’s group being taken to see the Twilight movies? Would He approve of a church throwing weekly watch parties to view the Walking Dead TV series? Would He approve of HIS Church becoming secular to appeal to the masses? I doubt it. We have forgotten that the Church is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SECULAR! That’s why it is the CHURCH (the BRIDE OF CHRIST)! We need to get back to the foundation of Christianity, start teaching the Bible and allow the Holy Spirit to work in the lives of the lost.
- Stuck in the box – We, as Christians, are stuck in the box we call the Church. We refuse to go outside of the Church to bring people in. We expect people to come into the Church in their pain and heartache, but they won’t. People will not come into the Church, because they are afraid of being judged and they are afraid that they are not good enough. None of us is good enough! We need to be “backyard missionaries” and love the people in our own communities, where they are. We need to meet people in their need, build relationships and love them to Jesus without judging them. Jesus never intended for us to get stuck inside the walls of the Church. He set the example. He went out and met people in their need. He didn’t wait for the people to come to the Church. He healed them where they were and allowed the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts.
- Judgmental – We as Christians can be the most judgmental people in the world. We think we have the right to flaunt our “righteousness” while making other people feel as if they aren’t good enough to walk in our hallowed halls. Excuse me??? How did we get to the place where we think we are better than everyone else? Jesus was a humble servant and HE was the King of kings! He NEVER judged and He had every right too! Who are we to judge others, as we sit in our own sin?
- Lack of Faith – As a single mom of 5, I struggled at times with vehicle issues and just having a support system in place. When I reached out to local churches for help, I would get responses from the pastors saying that they didn’t have the resources to help me, but I was welcome to visit. Where is our faith in a God that has ALL the resources of the heavens and earth at His disposal? We should be a modern day example of the Church of Acts, giving our abundance to help those in need. Instead we sit back and say, “let the welfare system take care of them.” NO! The welfare system was developed because the Church quit doing the job God gave it. God designed the Church to look after the needs of the poor. He WILL provide when we have the faith to step out in faith to help others. I know of churches who save up “rainy day funds” of $28,000.00 or more, but claim they don’t have the resources to help those in need in our communities. Really? Where is your faith???
- Prideful Leadership – I realize that everyone sins. No one is perfect. This goes beyond that. I have seen pastors who will NOT have a mature discussion about decisions made by leadership, but instead feel like it’s a personal attack of their leadership. They refuse to be questioned about any decisions they make and if you do question leadership, you will be disciplined. Discipline could include being lectured via a Sunday sermon, being ostracised, or told to leave the church. I have heard a pastor say, “no one is going to tell me how to run my church.” Church members have a right to hold the pastor and other Church leadership accountable. The Church does NOT belong to the pastor or any other leader. The Church belongs to Jesus and we need to be good stewards with what Jesus ALLOWS us to lead for Him. When a pastor or other Church leader holds himself above those in the congregation He is wrong. When a pastor or other Church leader believes that he/she is above accountability he/she is wrong. You are leading a church, but you are not above anyone and we ALL answer to Jesus.
- Greed – I am blown away by these pastors and Church leaders who preach prosperity gospel. These leaders who have homes, cars and other material objects worth millions of dollars, while people are dying homeless on the streets. They sit up in their million dollar churches and guilt or bribe people into giving their hard earned dollars. I’m sure they do some good and help some people, but they have placed themselves on pedestals and believe that they have some spiritual super-power. The Bible clearly tells us not to store up treasures here on earth, but to give generously to those in need. What Bible are these people reading? Have they walked the streets and seen the need around them? Do they feel any compassion for the hurting? I am not just talking about the well known T.V. evangelists, I am also talking about our pastors in local churches in cities across this nation who think that for some reason they are to good to reach out to the homeless or the poor. Do we remember how Jesus lived?
- Discipleship – I grew up in the church and was never discipled. I went to Sunday school and Bible Studies, but those can’t take the place of intentional discipleship. Making disciples is about building relationships that continue outside of our Sunday and Wednesday corporate worship days. Discipleship is intentionally sharing life with a small group of people to help them grow spiritually. Jesus gave us an example of this in His relationship with His disciples. The Bible tells us to MAKE DISCIPLES! Sunday school is NOT enough! We go to Church on Sundays and Wednesdays and then leave new or struggling Christians to figure things out on their own the rest of the week. Jesus was available 24/7. I was actually discipled after we left the church in 2011. I was not discipled by a person. I was discipled by the Holy Spirit. I was desperate not to lose Jesus and I kept my heart open to the teaching of the Holy Spirit. It is a journey. He still leads and I still follow and I continue to learn.
- Lack of Community – We say that members of the Church are family, but we don’t act like it. Christians are the most stuck up people I know! Again, I am not talking about every Christian here. I have seen that most churches that I have visited are divided into cliques. Those cliques consist of the Haves and those that are “in” with the church leadership. They also consist of those who are thought of to be spiritually “above” everyone else. Those who belong in the cliques rarely step outside the walls of that clique to realize that we are ALL one family. We are ALL Christians and should not to be divided.
- Denominational Separation – Since I mentioned cliques in the above section, I think I need to mention the denominational division in the Church. Every denomination has tweaked the Bible in some sort of fashion to suit the purpose and beliefs of that denomination’s leaders. There is only ONE Bible! We should not be divided! When Jesus returns, He is coming back for the entire CHURCH! He did not say, “I am returning for Methodists, but those Baptists just don’t have it together.” And how many different Baptist Associations do we need? Really? We take PRIDE in what denomination we belong to like it’s some sort of prize, “I belong to the Southern Baptists! What denomination are YOU?” Seriously people? It doesn’t matter what denomination you belong to, if you are living in unrepentant sin, YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!!!
- Unrepentant Hearts – We think that if we ask Jesus into our lives and to be our Savior that we can live any way we want to live and that ALL will be forgiven. Not true! Once saved always saved is not a thing. If you are a Christian, but you are knowingly living in sin, you will go to Hell. We think that we can go to Church on Sunday and live the way we want the rest of the week and all will be well. Not true! If you profess to be a Christian then you need to live a Christian life at ALL times and when you sin go to God and repent. We will all at one time or another sin against each other and God. It’s time to repent. We wonder why our nation is in the state it is in. We have allowed sin into our churches and it is running rampant. satan is having a blast seeing how many Christians he can deceive into falling away from the Church and God.
- Business/Entertainment – It seems that the Church that is meant to be a place to worship God has become a place to show off to the world. It has become a contest. Which church has the most people, the biggest building, the most baptisms on Sunday, the biggest Sunday productions, the most money, the richest members, etc? Do we really need spotlights and smoke during our worship services? Do we really need our Sunday morning experience to feel like a rock concert? I don’t. It all seems sacrilegious to me. Jesus was born in a humble stable, without the fanfare. Who is the rock concert experience for anyways? I would say us, because I am pretty sure that God isn’t impressed.
I have wanted to write this post for a few years, but haven’t felt that it was the right time. Is now the right time? Maybe. I’m still not sure. These are my opinions based on what I have personally seen in the Church. I also realize that there are pastors, leaders and Christians that are living according to God’s will. What I saw was fundamental doctrinal issues that I couldn’t ignore. We all make mistakes, but when leaders go against the Bible, it’s time to leave. Will I go back? Absolutely! I LOVE the Church with all of my heart. How could I claim to be a Christian and not love the Church? It is in finding that right church that holds to the Bible and the biblical view of how Christians should live. There is no compromise when you are a Christian. It breaks my heart to see the Church falling away from God’s will. I pray continually for a revival of our hearts. We don’t have much time left. Jesus will come. Are we ready?
Patti Burris 