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Posts Tagged ‘my hearts desire’

tired-car

 

Well, I am officially without a car. Someone put oil in where my transmission fluid goes and my transmission locked up on me Monday night. As a single mom, with a full-time job and no car, this is a blow. I can’t afford another car until I get my tax refund. I can’t afford a down payment or a monthly payment on one. I also, don’t like asking for help and having to depend on my 22 year old daughter to drive me to work.

This is definitely a test of faith. I have to trust God to work this out. I feel in a way that He is stripping me of some important things and maybe that is so that I will grow in my dependence on Him and depend less on the people around me. I feel that God is preparing me for an important ministry and He is molding my character to fit this role.

There is something that I want to do. A secret desire that I am praying about. Do I dare speak it aloud? My deepest desire is to be a missionary to single moms. To be able to minister full-time to single moms and to encourage the faith-based community to start more ministries for single moms. So, this loss of my car seems to be a test in faith. Do I trust God to provide for us no matter what? Can I let go of my need to control everything a let God be God? Can I let go of my need to have a “stable” income and trust God to provide what we need? It is scary, but I am so ready for this. I am so ready for God to open up the doors and allow me to minister to single moms where they are. Feeling out of control can be scary, but I guess it is when we feel out of control that we are more able to surrender our lives to a God that is completely in control.

I will continue to pray for a car and for this missionary opportunity. I will of course, keep all of you up to date. God Bless!

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