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overwhelmed

Isaiah 40:28

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

I know I haven’t written in a couple of months, I’ve been completely overwhelmed with life. Below is a glimpse into my life these last few months and how God has worked in the struggle:

My 21 year old daughter, Cherokee, moved back home in January, with her daughter Ava. They had moved to North Carolina in March of 2014 to be with Cherokee’s husband, who is a U.S. Marine. They had been married a year at that point, but had not lived together. After 10 months of living together and struggling to make it work, Cherokee decided to move back home with Ava. A couple of weeks later, she found out that she is pregnant with my first grandson, who is due in October. So, being mom to Cherokee, as she rebuilds her life and decides what she wants for herself and her 2 children, has caused some anxiety. She is a sweet, loving young woman, but she is also strong-willed and independent. She loves her kids and is an amazing mom to Ava. I have prayed that she will open her heart to God and answer the call He has placed on her life.

Kiowa, my 20 year old daughter, left for Air Force basic training on March 1st and graduated April 24th. She is now in tech school and it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions! She has been overwhelmed many times. She has called home sobbing because she wasn’t “getting it”. Her journey has had me sitting on the edge of my seat, biting my finger nails to the nubs, waiting to see if she will pass each test. I have been praying without ceasing that God will make His will known and that He will give her the confidence and peace that she needs to get through this. Kiowa is rekindling her relationship with her Heavenly Father and the Air Force will be blessed because of it.

18 year old daughter, Cree, just graduated high school and will be moving into the dorms at a local college in August. She is outgoing, smart, and has a heart for God. I have to sigh when it comes to Cree, because she has this very creative artistic side, but she has no common sense and is a creative slob. Her room is a mess, she is disorganized, but she is a very talented young artist and she has a genuine passion for little kids. I have been (nagging) her to make sure all of her stuff is turned in and everything is done. I worry because she is so scatterbrained. Will she get things done if I’m not there to nag her? It’s only because I love her and want her to succeed. God will use my Cree in AMAZING ways and I can’t wait to see it!

Talon is 15 and is starting high school this year. He is 15 going on 20! He starts driver’s education in November and can’t wait to get his license in April. Talon has a heart for helping others, for standing up for the little guy, and takes his job as big brother to Ty very seriously.

13 year old Ty will be attending 7th grade this year. He struggles in school. He would rather be at home looking up his dream car on the internet. He is all about fast cars and always has been. Ty is so funny and affectionate. I pray that God will protect both of my sons from the effects of the secular world and that they will grow up to be the men of God that they are meant to be.

As a single mom, I have been overwhelmed with parenting kids that are transitioning into adulthood and facing adult problems. I have been learning (although slowly) that I can’t control the choices they make. I can advise them and pray for them, but at some point we have to let go and allow God to shape them into the people He wants them to be. This is not easy, but I can’t continue to be overwhelmed by their lives. I have to surrender them to God.

I have been overwhelmed by work the last couple of months. I don’t have a hard job, but it does get stressful at times and working 6 days in a row or getting one off in 10 is exhausting. I know it sounds like I’m whining. It makes it hard to manage my diabetes and hypertension when my work has me out of sorts. I think things may be calming down now. Now I just pray for every other weekend off so I can go back to church, if I find one I want to go to.

I have also, struggled with being “dechurched”. I still struggle with needing to be a part of that community of believers, but not really fitting in anywhere. I’m seeking the church of Acts and I’m not finding it. I won’t give up. In the meantime I pray, I read God’s Word and I desperately seek Jesus. I desperately seek that oneness with Christ that exudes that love of Christ to every one I meet. Sometimes, I feel that maybe I am being to picky, but this is my relationship with God. I can’t settle for something that isn’t going to deepen that relationship. I can’t settle for something that might extinguish that fire. I simply won’t settle.

This has been my life the last few months. I get tired. I get weary. I get overwhelmed, but my God never does! God NEVER gets tired! God NEVER gets weary! My Rock, my Refuge, My Shelter, my God understands every sigh, every groan in my spirit, every tear shed for my children, every exhausted half prayer as I climb into bed. He understands when we are so overwhelmed that we feel that we just can’t go on. God is there, waiting for you, waiting for me to ask for His help.

If the load of life is wearing you down today, God understands. Unload your burden on Him. He can handle it. Trust Him with it. He never grows tired. He never grows weary. Surrender the load and trust Him to give you peace. Let it go, friend. Don’t carry the burden alone. If you need someone to listen, I am here for you. God loves you and so do I!

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