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Posts Tagged ‘crying out to God’

 

Read Jonah: Chapter 2

In Jonah chapter 1, we find Jonah disobeying a direct command from God. Instead of being obedient, Jonah ran the other way.

Jonah chapter 2, we find Jonah in the belly of a big fish. Because of his disobedience, God had a big fish swallow him. Jonah is now dealing with the consequence of his actions and he is not happy about it. He starts to pray a prayer of desperation, ” In my distress I called to the Lord” “from deep in the realm of the dead I called for help.”

I imagine that Jonah has now realized that God is not messing around and he has started to panic. Will he die in the belly of this fish? Will God spare his life and give him another chance? Will God still be willing to use him for His purpose?

The big lesson here is that we CAN’T hide or run from God! Adam and Eve found that out when they tried to hide from God after they ate fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in Genesis chapter 2. I am almost certain that most of us turn to God in desperation when we are sinking in the mess of our own making and can’t seem to find the way out on our own. We call out to God in distress when we are stuck struggling with the consequences of our own sin.

Jonah would have saved a lot of time and heartache had he obeyed God in the first place. In my own life, I have been running from God. I have been hiding behind my anxieties. Using my anxieties as an excuse not to do what God is calling me to. But Guess what? God did not just leave Jonah to die in the belly of that fish! After Jonah prayed, God had the fish vomit Jonah onto dry land. God continued to pursue Jonah! He did not seek someone more willing to carry out this mission. God had handpicked Jonah for this job and even though Jonah wasted time in his disobedience, God waited until Jonah got over himself.

WOW! I see where this is going, Lord! My hiding behind my anxiety is a sin. Anxiety IS NOT from God and the longer I wallow in it and use it as an excuse to keep me from my God-given mission, the longer I keep other women from hearing about the love of God or knowing that they are loved by a risen Savior. God has pursued me for years now. I run and I hide. God will not choose someone else to fulfill a mission that He has handpicked me to accomplish and I guess I better stop playing Jonah and get my act together.

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: If you are running from God or hiding behind an excuse so you won’t have to fulfill a God-given purpose, STOP RUNNING! STOP HIDING! Take it from me, it doesn’t work. God will not give up on you. If He has handpicked you for a special mission then, believe me, He will pursue you until you crack under the pressure and become an obedient vessel that He can use. Don’t choose living in sin over being obedient to the will of God. It never works out. It just makes you miserable. I am there. Living a life trapped in a prison of anxiety for years is no fun. I am crying out to God and I will be seeking help. FINALLY! And when God commands this big fish of anxiety to vomit me out, I will be ready and willing to accomplish His will in my life.

Heavenly Father,

I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to see the anxiety for what it is, SIN. I have wasted so many years wallowing in my own pathetic issues. I have wasted so many years making excuses for my running and hiding from your will. I am so sorry for my disobedience. I have been horrible and yet you pursue me still. I am 49 years old and you still pursue me. Never once, did you give up on me and choose someone else for this mission. I am humbled and I am grateful. Forgive me, Lord and help me heal as I seek help. I am here, Lord, use me.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Side Note: Many times when I write a post, I don’t know where it will go until I start writing. They all end up going in directions that I never intended. That is God. I am the instrument and He is the author. This one is very personal. It touches on something that I have struggled with for ages. I had no idea when I started writing this post that it would go this way. I could have kept it personal and not publish it, but I made a promise to be transparent. I want to let you see my mess, so that you can see a God that loves and heals. My blog has been a journey in my relationship with God, as I have struggled with my own humanness and God’s continual pursuit of me.

 

 

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Psalm 13

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

 

How many times have I uttered these same words in my 17 years as a single mom? Too many to count. At times, crying out to God in my despair was the only prayer I could manage. Feeling that God had abandoned me and would never hear my cries for help. For years, I have wrestled with the thoughts of anger, fear, abandonment, insecurity, doubt, you name it, I have wrestled with it. I have spent years with sorrow in my heart, wondering when my situation would change. Wondering when God would deliver me from the oppression of this single mom life. Life was my enemy. My circumstances were my enemy. I eventually realized that Satan is my enemy and he loves nothing more than to see me down in the dumps and not trusting God.

“Answer me, Lord! Help me! Deliver me from this oppression!” This was the cry of my heart. Still is on some days. Life is not perfect. I have my good days and my bad days. As the kids grow into adulthood, the struggles are different, but still ever present. They still need me and I still need them. I still struggle making ends meet financially. I struggle with new issues, more adult issues, that the kids are dealing with as they grow up. I struggle with when not to “parent” them but simply encourage them. I struggle with knowing when to just be that loving, listening ear. In all of this, I cry out to God for wisdom, provision and grace.

Even in the times when I feel that God has left me, I guess I am still rooted deep enough, that I still trust that He loves me. I still trust that God is working in my situation, even when I try to sabotage His efforts. Even when I feel abandoned, I still have faith that He IS there, waiting for me to find Him again. In ALL things I give praise! Times of trial are simply making us stronger in our faith. When I am facing the fire, I know that this is the time to really hang on to HIM in prayer and reading His word. Life is full of trials and struggles, but our God will NEVER change.

If you are crying out today, single mom, know that God hears you! Praise Him in the struggle. Trust in His unfailing love for you and your kids. Whatever it is, He will work it out. Keep praying and keep digging into the promises found in His word. If you need some extra prayer, contact me. I’m always here to lend an ear.

God loves you and so do I!

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