Patti Burris

The hardest thing for me as a mom has been to see my kids grow into adults and struggle with their relationship with God. We were active in a local church at one time, but left due to some personal issues. After we left, we all struggled in our relationship with God. The kids struggled the most. It was hard for me to see them fall away from their faith. I felt guilty for taking them away from something that had meant so much to them at one time. In the end it was only causing them pain and they were considered in the decision to leave. We have attended different churches. My relationship with God has actually grown in the mean time, but the kids still struggle. I hate to see them struggle in the most important aspect of their lives. I try to force God on them and I know that this doesn’t work. I just want them to “get it”! I want them to embrace this Jesus that I live and breathe. God has finally convinced me to back off a bit and to give the Holy Spirit time to work in the lives of my kids.

YOU MEAN I AM NOT ACTUALLY IN CONTROL OF THEIR WHOLEHEARTEDLY ACCEPTING JESUS?

Reality sinking in. No, I am not in control of how they think or act or what they believe. As much as I would like to force them to accept my beliefs, I can’t. I can’t force Jesus on them. It just turns them away. They have to figure it out on their own the same way I had to figure it out on my own. They have to come to the realization that life with Jesus is so much better than life without Jesus. So, what do we do while they are figuring things out?

1. Pray: We pray, pray and pray some more. We pray that the Holy Spirit will fill them with a burning desire to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. We pray that they will be filled with a deep desire to do God’s will in EVERY aspect of their lives. We pray through until all of our children have accepted Jesus and then we pray that they will grow in their Christian walk. The most important thing is to pray.
2. Set a Godly example: No one is perfect. We aren’t going to get it completely right all of the time, but if our kids see us reading the Bible, praying, living our lives with integrity, serving others, and loving those around us then they will know Jesus through our actions. Don’t ever think that our kids aren’t watching how we live our lives. They are and they are deciding how they want to live.
3. Never Judge: Our kids get enough judgement in the world, they don’t need it from their parents too. No one is perfect and our kids are learning how the world works. We all fumble. We all make mistakes. Our kids need to know that they have a safe place to fall where help will be given without judgement.
4. Love unconditionally: God loves us no matter what and He expects us to love our kids no matter what. We need to love our kids regardless of how they choose to live. We need to continue to build our relationships with our kids. We need to continue to be that support system they so need in this world. In a place of so much hate, they need our love.
5. Allow the Holy Spirit to work: We need to step back and allow the Holy Spirit to work in our children’s lives. Trying to force Jesus on them only pushes them away. We need to surrender our kids to God and trust Him to work in their lives in His timing. I know how hard that is, but take it from a mom who has been there, we can’t force our kids to believe. We are not in control. God is.

I have had to learn to surrender my kids to God. It has not been easy. I see them struggle with wrong choices and living life styles that are contrary to my Christian beliefs and my heart breaks for them. Life will never be free from pain, but it can be so much better when we live according to God’s will for us. My one desire in this life is that all five of my kids will know and follow Jesus Christ. I can’t make this happen. Only God can. It is now my job to get out of the way.