Patti Burris

I really didn’t plan on sharing this, but God continues to place in front of me stories of people who are dealing with anxieties, depression and thoughts of not wanting to be alive anymore. I know God enough to know that when He does this, there is usually a reason for it. He has put on my heart the burden to share my own testimony of His healing power and love. This past Spring and Summer, I went through a dark period. It lasted from about May until August. I call it my dark night of the soul. I felt disconnected from God and felt overwhelming sadness and anxiety. I feel anxiety on a regular basis, but this was different. Usually, I feel situational anxiety, this was a constant feeling of not being okay in my mind. I had a sense of being depressed and not being able to pull myself out of it. There were times when I could only whisper, “hang onto me, God!”  I had never had a feeling of not wanting to live until one morning in early July. My daughter was dropping me off at work and as I got out of the car, I started to sob and said through my tears, “I don’t want to live anymore!” I was completely stunned! I had not being feeling this. I knew then that my mind was taking on a life of it’s own and that I really needed to fight to stay sane.

It was a couple of days later, when I was scrolling through Facebook that God spoke to me through a Facebook post (God can speak to us through any venue, if we are open to His voice). The post was a link to an article talking about how Satan will use our minds to keep us disconnected from God and keep us from doing God’s will. I knew that God was telling me who I was fighting against. I already knew how to fight: prayer, Bible study, doing the will of God and abiding in Jesus. I dug my heels in and I fought. I prayed for God to protect my mind and I rebuked Satan. I told him to leave, that he would never win this battle and in the precious name of Jesus, that he needed to go. He did go! Throughout August I started feeling whole again and I now feel fine. I still deal with some situational anxiety, but it doesn’t overwhelm me. It keeps me connected to the vine. It keeps me from wandering to far from my heavenly Father. I now know that the enemy wants my mind and I am determined that he will NEVER get mine!

Satan will use whatever he can to control our minds: drugs, alcohol, fear, greed, etc. You name it and he will use it. God warns us of this:

1 Peter 5:8

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

I had thought of seeking therapy, but did not need to. I want to say that therapy is sometimes necessary and not a bad thing. Medications are not always a bad thing, as long as, they are a temporary solution to calm your mind enough to allow you to find long-term coping skills. There are definitely times to seek help from mental health professionals. Make sure that any professional you seek help from is open and positive about your relationship with Jesus. I am here to tell you that the #1 coping tool is a relationship with Jesus Christ. We can find other coping tools: running, writing, art, etc. but they can be taken away. My daughter loves to run and it is a way for her to cope with anxieties. She hurt her back and can not run. How do we deal with depression and anxiety in those situations? If we abide in the life giver, He will always be there to help us cope in any situation. Jesus is the ONLY coping tool that can never be taken from us. By developing an intimate relationship with Him, we have the only coping tool we will ever need.

If you are reading this and you have or are dealing with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, please contact me. I would love to correspond with you and pray with you for healing. I am not a trained psychologist, but I can help you develop an close, abiding relationship with God. I know the anguish that comes with constantly fighting your mind. I am here for you, friend. You are not alone!