Patti Burris

1 Corinthians 7:7-9

⁷ I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. ⁸ Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. ⁹ But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Contrary to popular belief some people are called to be single. Not everyone has a soul mate and not everyone is meant to be married. Paul said that being single is a gift for some, just as being married is a gift for others.

I firmly believe that I am one of those who has been called to be single. I have accepted the gift of singleness and I am content in that role. I was married for 7 1/2 years and I don’t regret it. Out of that marriage came the 5 blessings of my life. My ex and I were not meant to be, and I am okay with that. He has been married to a wonderful woman for a few years now and I have been happily single for 16 years. I don’t believe that there is someone for everyone. I believe that my someone is God. For a few years after my divorce, I thought that something was wrong with me because I could not find that “special someone.” God transformed my heart and I realized that God is my “special someone” and I am content serving and living for God and God alone. Other than an emotional connection I had with someone right after my divorce, I have not been in a relationship with anyone since my divorce. I made a choice about 10 or so years ago that I would remain celibate. There are friends and loved ones that would love to fix me up or who think that I need to find someone. They all mean well, but honestly, I don’t want a relationship to distract me from what’s important. I know that there are people out there who can not understand the choice that I have made. They don’t need to understand. Serving and glorifying God is the most important thing and I am more than willing to remain celibate for the rest of my life, if that is God’s will for me.

I am glad that I am not one of those people who chases around after “Mr. or Mrs. Right.” That takes so much energy and it is a huge distraction from the most important thing, serving God. No offense to those who feel that they need someone to make their life complete. No offense to those who feel called to marriage. We are all different and each has, his or her, own God-given gifts.

I choose celibacy. I choose to remain single. Never let anyone make you feel ashamed for doing what you feel is right for you. God has a different path for each one of us. Find the courage to do what is in your heart. Find your voice. Live your life. Do what God is calling you to do and trust Him with the outcome.