Patti Burris

As I sat in the second row watching my radiant Cherokee repeating her vows, I couldn’t help but think back to just a year ago when things were so different. Still a senior in high school, she had planned on going to nursing school and having a career. She graduated from high school in May as a member of the national honor society, with a 3.5 GPA. She started school in August, but soon realized that nursing wasn’t for her. She struggled to find where she fit and didn’t know what she wanted to do.  My strong, independent, goal oriented Cherokee seemed to be lost. That was my perception. She had been dating Nick off and on for a year at that point. I knew they spent a lot of time together, but never thought it was that serious at this point. There were some issues that needed to be worked out, so I was shocked in early October at the news that she was pregnant. She had always been a purity ring wearing God-girl and even though she was struggling in her relationship with God, I never imagined that my 19 year old Cherokee would be announcing that she was pregnant. She had just graduated high school and started college. I was shocked, but never stopped encouraging her. She left school in December and she and Nick were married on Saturday. Her desire is to be a housewife and mother. So different from this time last year, when we still shared the same dreams.

I am not sharing this with you to lament on a young life gone wrong. I learned a valuable lesson on this journey called parenthood and I hope my lesson will help others in there own journey. I realized that in my desire to help her nail down a career path I was pushing her into areas she didn’t want to go. I have had to let go of my expectations and let her live her own life and make her own decisions. She is still an intelligent, independent, strong-willed young woman and I don’t think the essence of who she is will ever change. She made a decision that changed her life, but God still has her life in his hand and he will still use her in this life. God works everything for the good for those who love him and my granddaughter is a good thing.

God has a way of taking difficult situations in our lives and turning them into our ministry. Cherokee is happy. If God has given her the desire to be a housewife and mom, then I will trust that he will equip her for that ministry. I have never seen her so beautiful! Marriage and motherhood agree with her.

Things have changed for this daughter of mine. Her path has changed and her journey will take her in a different direction than we expected, but she and Nick have a long blessed life ahead of them and a little miss Ava Rose to look forward to introducing to the world. God is in control and this young couple will be okay.

I learned that my job as a parent to her now is to love her, even when her decisions aren’t ones that I would have made and always, always pray for her. I will always be here to encourage her and support her through whatever direction her life takes. Our children will make some decisions that we don’t agree with, our children will sin, our children will show their imperfect sides to the world at times. It’s going to happen, as it does with all of us. We need to quit expecting our kids to be perfect and cut them some slack when they mess up. WE ALL mess up! Why do we come down so hard on our kids when we are imperfect ourselves? Love our kids, encourage them to live for God, and when they are less than perfect, that is the time to love them even more.